Playing a detective, when Arshad Warsi comes to take the brief of a ‘runaway
daughter’ case from Shakti Kapoor playing the father, Warsi investigates if he
has any clue where his daughter could be. And you really can’t hold yourself bursting
into giggles when Shakti Kapoor gives him an absolutely definite & detailed
address in reply. This is a good example of black-humour and most importantly,
it is one of those few gags that really come out well on screen. I wish other
jokes would also have the same luck!
To be pronounced as ‘Mr jo bhi karwa lo’, debutante Samir Tewari’s ‘MR JOE
B. CARVALHO’ is rather ‘errors in comedy’ than ‘comedy of errors’. The characters
and I mean ‘each & everyone’ credited here acts and reacts like mad cows trying
to eat as much grass from the field as they could.
Arshad Warsi plays a detective who’s hired to solve the mystery [???] behind
a daughter running away with the cook of the house. In other plot, there is a
cold-blooded killer [the less-wasted Javed Jaffery] out on loose to kill
another couple responsible for a self-proclaimed don-cum-lover’s heartbreak.
Vijayraj plays a green-eyed, envious goon who’s looking for chances to kill his
rival Carlos-the killer. Soha Ali Khan is in role of a ‘Lady Dabangg’ cop who
misunderstands his ex-boyfriend Warsi as the same contract killer, God knows
why often addressed as a terrorist. Himani Shivpuri as the blind mother to Warsi
gets trembling around everywhere without much reason. Rest is the series of
happenings, mis-happenings and not-happenings.
With a completely immature, faulty and terrible work of writing, neither
the film takes itself serious nor the actors. Everyone races against each other
to win ‘who’s worst’ title in the performance. Javed Jaffery shows some relief
as the master of disguise Carlos. Arshad Warsi was the biggest bet in this and
though he never really disappoints you, he should take accountability for choosing
such bad film. For the rest, you will find lots of improvisation from actors
taking place in many scenes but even that also don’t help any better. Watching actors
mumbling just anything before leaving the frame or camera getting zoomed in to a
face to get some reaction and after realizing that it’s not gonna happen,
ending it with a late-cut is hilarious but only if you are into the tricks
& trades of filmmaking.
Dialogues are pathetically pedestrian. So if there is a talk about bad
stomach, be ready to hear Soha starting her sentence with ‘I gas’ only to rectifying
it soon after with ‘I guess’. The songs are penned down to tickle funny bones
but fall flat only for a well-needed break to visit loo or the cafeteria in the
theatre premise.
At the end; if you laugh ever in the film, it is not because of the gags
but the situations that are not funny at all. Filmmaking is a serious business
and people who think they can have fun with it in trying to make it funnier,
should need to learn-unlearn few basics. Cinema lovers can consider it a
strictly ‘No-No’ and a case-history in the ‘worsts’ section of Bollywood. Come on
2014, don’t dishearten us! Give us something really good soon! [0.5/5]
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