Thursday, 12 November 2015

PREM RATAN DHAN PAYO: Once upon a time….zzzZZZ! [1.5/5]

Enough said about films that still fall [in literal sense] for 80’s/90’s standard set of emotions to put the cash-registers ringing at the box-office! No, they aren’t nostalgic anymore. Do not hide your sorry state of creative drought behind the curtains of so-called ‘classic age-old charm’! Kings do exist in today’s world; I am aware of some leading that extravagant life in those grand forts of the ‘half palace-half heritage hotel’ nature but trust me, there is no ‘Praja’ in any part of the country that dresses homogeneously in pink sarees and in white kurta-dhoti. But for that tiny little piece of insight, Sooraj R. Barjatya needs to get up from his dining table which serves a daily dose of ‘Sanskar’ more than the reality. Rajshri Productions Pvt Ltd’s PREM RATAN DHAN PAYO is the most confused film I have come across in my life. It neither bores you with its trademark spell of ‘gyaan’ on true Indian values in a ‘softer than melting cheese’ tone nor does tickle you with the all well-bred, polite and ‘cultured’ idea of romance.

PREM RATAN DHAN PAYO comes from the house of traditions where a copy of Ramayana should constantly be there on your study table, no matter how old or young you are. Though the plot takes its cues from THE PRISONER OF ZENDA- an 1894 novel by Anthony Hope and Mark Twain’s THE PRINCE AND THE PAUPER, you can easily find the inspirations and the aspirations straight from the Ramayana. The king of ‘Whatever-pur’ [Sameer Dharmadhikari] had 3 wives like King Dashrath had. Two of the wives being legal and one being often called as ‘mashooka’ of the king, there sure is plenty scope of step-brothers and step-sisters to deal with.

So, the elder son Vijay [Salman Khan] has Ajay [Neil Nitin Mukesh], Chandrika [Swara Bhaskar], Radhika [Aashika Bhatia] as his step-siblings and all the setbacks a family of such nature could have. Just a couple of days before his coronation; the prince meets a schemed fatal accident and now, the trustworthy associates [Anupam Kher and gang] have no other choices left but to replace him with his look-alike Prem [Salman, again] to save the situation. Sonam Kapoor plays Maithili- the princess engaged to the real prince but is now reinventing love in the fake one.

PREM RATAN DHAN PAYO is a shoddily directed film where the scale is intentionally big but the soul in the content hardly makes an appearance. Film opens in Ayodhya (a dream location for Rajshri] where Prem is seen switching his accent carelessly and shamelessly from Awadhi to Rajasthani. The battleground for the plot supposedly finds its root in a location 50 Kms away from Ayodhya but can clearly be judged as some rocky royal place in Rajasthan. Aren’t Google maps free to double-check? It’s not that Sooraj doesn’t show any evolution in his mind. There is a constant joke on Anupam Kher being a virgin and I think that’s an achievement for a Rajshri film. So what if in the same film, the cleavage showing girl has to be the wicked one or vice-a-versa and the short-skirts can only be worn behind the closed doors. In a scene; when asked by a reporter if the coronation is not an out-dated procedure in today’s times, the prince intimidates him with, “do you think traditions are funny?” I wish I could answer on his behalf, “No sire, they aren’t funny but looking at what you [Mr. Barjatya] suggest, they are definitely too plain, painful, pale and pointless to be on screen”.

On the performances, I would not dare rate Mr Salman Khan. Though he’s completely comfortable and contented in his zone, his fans would certainly miss a lot of his ‘I don’t give a damn’ mannerism and slapstick action. Sonam Kapoor tries hard, as usual. Arman Kohli as one of the conspirators looks all bulky, grisly and ‘suit’able to the part but acts no better than Neil Nitin Mukesh. Deepak Dobriyal impresses in a scene or two. Swara is so typecast you would hardly notice if she’s from the sets of RAANJHNAA. And what was Sanjai Mishra doing here?

At the end, I don’t see why and how this PREM RATAN DHAN PAYO will entertain families in today’s times especially when there is no ‘Sanskar’ to look up to, no ‘Prem’ to feel shivers of emotion and no cinema [apart from the grand sets and the heavily aspirational designer clothing] to at least calm your senses. There is a scene having a camel gulping down Salman’s diary and suddenly Salman starts calling it ‘Kamil’ for no rhyme and reason. Well, Kamil is none other than the lyricist of the film Irshad Kamil and the joke is not at him but at the makers as how ‘Sanskari’ you are towards your people of strength! Anything 3-hr long can be a drag but this one sets the milestone. ‘Raja-rani ki kahani’ still works to put you to sleep! [1.5/5]

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