KHOOBSURAT: Maddening Beauty!! The overacting lead spoils the fun! [2/5]

Opposites attract. Just like in most of the romantic fairytales; they do meet, greet & kiss each other in Shashanka Ghosh’s candy floss love-story KHOOBSURAT too, but it’s more like ‘Irresistible meets irritating’ and ‘alluring meets annoying’. The later being Sonam Kapoor, of course! First reaction, why should a chick-flick need to be a dumb comedy of convenience? Why should the girl being portrayed as the most carefree, lively and good-natured human on earth has to be loud, noisy, illogical and a stack of overacting on the performer’s side? No wonder, there are times you want to call it off but then, multiplexes aren’t your personal home theatre system that comes with a full functional remote.

Official remake of Hrishikesh Mukherji’s classic family drama of same name, KHOOBSURAT sticks to the basic premise from the old reference. A young, fashionable and spontaneous physiotherapist [Sonam playing mostly herself] is sent to a royal palace to take care of ‘His Highness’ on wheel chair. This perfectly punctual & controlled museum of people with religiously followed discipline in veins is lead by a sophisticated yet dominating ‘Her Highness’, played by the very reliable Ratna Pathak Shah. No prizes for guessing that there is a prince charming [Pakistani poster boy Fawad Khan in a well-suited role] ready to be the last & final nail in the coffin before the house of infinite rules gets down by our sweet, silly and stylish physiotherapist.

Shashanka Ghosh creates a world of picture perfect frames with royal real locations, best of props, designer dresses, all flashy colors, vibrant and charmingly polished characters and also succeeds in giving us some extremely beautiful scenes like prince Vikram Singh Rathore trying to talk casual things with his father & the ‘His Highness’. You could actually feel the uncomfortable zone they are in. In other merits, the very experimental music by Sneha Khanwalkar of ‘Gangs of Wasseypur’ fame is a refreshing and notable change in Bollywood soundtracks.  

Film if falters, it is all because of piercing loudness in characters supposedly being the biggest admirers of life. So despite being a known physiotherapist to a T-20 Cricket Team, this ‘Barbie doll’ in hot pants doesn’t necessarily know the dining table etiquettes and also doesn’t bother to hesitate while asking a young girl of 17 about her boyfriend, that too in front of her mother and just a minute later their first meeting. She is also seen invading premise of historic importance to pose for her Facebook profile picture. You can giggle or laugh out loud considering this funny but I would settle this as another dose of Sajid Khan Humor.

On the performances, Sonam plays it cool but thanks to the writing, she ends up being the most annoying and overacted piece of this beautifully painted picture-frame. Fawad shows that his popularity comes not merely with the looks but the earnestness in acting skills. I wish his female fans could switch from ‘He’s so hot’ to ‘He’s damn good’. He deserves that. Theatre veteran Aamir Raza Hussain as ‘His Highness’ is the surprise package! Ratna Pathak Shah’s is an extended ‘Sarabhai’ act beautifully done. Kirron Kher as the loudmouthed Punjabi Mother to Sonam’s character is too cliché to enjoy. I could only say, “Manju, [Sonam calls her by her name in the film] ab bass kar!”

At the end, KHOOBSURAT is ‘khoobsurat’ in the looks, amusingly witty in parts and depressingly maddening for the most. Revisiting episodes of ‘Sarabhai Vs Sarabhai’ on YouTube is way better option if you’re in search of good laugh. Watch it only if you can’t say ‘NO’ to your girlfriend! Doesn’t that include all of men on earth? Poor us!! [2/5]

DAAWAT-E-ISHQ: Not-so-regular! Not-so-surprising! Strictly Enjoyable! [2.5/5]

Boy follows the girl for a week or so. Girl waits for him to propose. And finally, it happens. A month later when both the actual parties in business [Marriage as they call it socially] meet in a restaurant to discuss further nitty gritties, the only reaction boy in love could come up with on his parent’s demand for dowry is, “My education in abroad needs only 60 lakhs. Why are you asking for 80 then?”…and you see a big banner being unveiled in the background that reads, “Sale 70% off”. That’s one aspect of this ethically corrupted-practically accepted malpractice we aren’t much vocal about recently. But there has to be the other side of the coin. This one too has its own.

The girl rejected countless proposals now has a wicked and impish plan to teach all the ‘dowry demanding sharks’. Weapon is the anti-dowry Law Section 498a of Indian Penal Code. Change your identity. Locate a well off dowry-starved party. Record all the proceedings of the verbal trade about the deal, get married and blackmail the parent for an out-of-court settlement with heavy money in exchange. Simple from the word go but then enters the spoiler. True love! What a filmy plot! Isn’t it? Do not dare you ask me what happens next.

Habib Faisal’s DAAWAT-E-ISHQ definitely has a delicious mix of new & age-old authentic flavors to lure his viewers but incidentally it is a half-cooked, strictly average dish you would not prefer to spend your special evenings with. Story by Faisal himself smells quite alike in nature at various fronts with similarly plotted LADIES Vs RICKY BAHL (Known for being Parineeti’s debut vehicle; Faisal was one of the co-writers), but the screenplay, dialogues and the characters more than performances are worth mentioning as they do a lot of damage control here.

Parineeti Chopra as the carefree & convinced Gulrez Qadir is energetic yet enigmatic as always. She shines like a fine cut diamond in most parts where playing the original character but the moment she slips into her another ‘fake’ character in the film, her charisma gets lessen and lighten by the overtly done character-sketch. Too shiny, too bright-eyed to be believable! Anupam Kher apparently is more into the character without being loud, his common setback with the most portrayals! Aditya Roy Kapoor looks every part of a Lucknow based restaurentier. His flirtatious presence on screen brings sheer energy in the plot. I wish he had given more room to show the emotional side of his character. TV heartthrob Karan Wahi makes his debut and does full justice to his extended special appearance.

DAAWAT-E-ISHQ scores big with the dialect and the dialogues! The vernacular touch of Hyderabadi Dakhini and the ‘shaayrana’ Lucknowi is very well achieved. When was the last time you met someone from Lucknow calling it ‘Nakhlau’? I know, it’s not in expected practice anymore but still. And then, the all known & loved authentic Mughlai dishes forcing and enticing you to rush towards the nearest and locally famous Biryani & Kebab vendors.

At the end, Habib faisal does dare to put some soul in the plot by raising a social issue we have been insensitive about for a long time now. Hope if he could have restricted himself from being tempted to filmy formulas of a happy-ending love-story. At best, it is one of those buffets that send you back home with an enjoyable break from regular dinner at home but will not keep you entirely-full or fully-pleased till you get anything better to overcome it. Strictly Enjoyable! [2.5/5] 

CREATURE (3D): ‘Khooni Darinda' by Vikram ‘Ramsay’ of 2014! [1.5/5]

There is a monster on loose in the forests of Himachal Pradesh. Allegedly it is a ‘BrahmRakshasa’ described well in Hindu Mythology as half man-half animal breed cursed by Lord Brahma and to kill it, one should have weapons dipped in the ashes of Peepal tree leaves but wait, it doesn’t work and as Rakesh Bedi gets amazed in the famous Kaayam Choorna TV Commercial, the lead protagonist admits, “Ispe toh inn goliyon ka bhi asar nahin”. Thank God, there is a Plan B mentioned somewhere! Now, we have bullets soaked in the holy water of a famous Hindu Sacred temple, that too on the most auspicious day of the year!

This is not a sleazy story in 90’s ‘Manohar Kahaaniyaan’. This is not a Ramsay Brothers B-grade horror. This is a Vikram Bhatt film labeled as ‘India’s first creature film’ and shamefully seeing light of the day in 2014. Bollywood should get a round of applause for coming so far in all these years! Silliness can be fun; absurdity sometimes does produce entertainment of some kind but so much of regressive approach! Someone somewhere definitely needs a serious therapy and in this case, my sympathies are with the makers.

CREATURE (3D) has Bipasha Basu, playing a hotelier with a past and pills to fight anxiety and the way she acts, you can make out from a mile ago that her medical condition is all made up to show her breathing heavily (…titillating for some, irritating for most) and with all the intensity. She has done masters in the same from of course the ‘Bhatt school of Horror’. You should learn from her how to start or end a conversation with a terrible vocal act of exhaling or inhaling. And if that was not enough, we have Imran Abbas Naqvi supposedly a TV star in Pakistan. Watching him acting in a ‘one expression’ mode is like paying tribute to all the John Abrahams of Bollywood. Why would you need to go out of this country to find such waste? We haven’t done with producing at our own yet.

Now let’s get back to the primary cause for what the film has eventually been made. The 10-feet tall, Hulk-mates-dinosaur, man-eating monster created in highly potent visual graphics machines. No doubt, Bollywood has never seen anything like it before. And seriously, I don’t have any issues with how well it is made or just not but in the genre of horror, there is a certain rule. You can never unleash your force of horror wide-open in daylight to just show off how efficient you were at the execution level. It’s just a week before Priyanka Chopra advised in MARY KOM, “kisi ko itna bhi mat darao, ki darr hi khatam ho jaaye”. There comes a time when you only look at it and ask to yourself, “what the hell is this?”…for the creature and the film also!

With inert songs modeled on Bhatt Camps earlier hits (‘Mehboob ki’ song of Imran’s intro is actually influenced by ‘Saanso ki jaroorat’ from AASHIQUI), terribly average dialogues and an exhaustingly irritating climax, this is a film that doesn’t deserve your attention, money or time. Vikram Bhatt was once a progeny of Mahesh Bhatt School of cinema. He is now creating one of his own, parallel to Ram Gopal Verma’s and Sajid Khan’s! You can ignore him…and the film! [1.5/5] 

FINDING FANNY (ENGLISH): ‘Finding it funny’ is an understatement! [3.5/5]

Early in the collective journey to find the love of an old loner’s life; when the later reacts in anxiety, ‘Isn’t it hot today?’, the man on driving seat and with the least interest in such trip throws away his apathy, “I am feeling cold”…“You must be in fever then” “no, it’s a statement of sarcasm”, he clarifies straight-faced & boldly. That should also be the preliminary and precautionary declaration to viewers as what they should expect from Homi Adajania’s smartly written, deliciously performed and dynamically directed comedy-drama FINDING FANNY.

Set in an unreal-unheard village of Goa, Fredie [Naseeruddin Shah, tastes as good as old wine] is a lonesome postman with no letters to deliver. His life gets an awakening knock when someone drops an old undelivered letter to his doorstep. It was written by him 46 years back and for his love of life then, Fanny. It is an end to his years-long wait but to give it a possible fresh new start to find Fanny, there’s Angie [Deepika Padukone as bright & shine as the morning Sun] who, despite her 15 min-short married life firmly believes in, “No one deserves an incomplete love-story”.

There’s also Angie’s heavily-structured crabby-grumpy old mother-in-law Rosalina [Dimple Kapadia in an all juicy-spicy avatar], a bitter, harsh & sulking love-interest to Angie [Arjun Kapoor’s best till date] and last but never the least, the amazingly vibrant but lecherous womanizer artist in search of a new muse for his painting, Don Pedro Cleto Colaco [The powerhouse and an institution in himself Pankaj Kapoor]. Together, they all are on a ride to find love in their lives.

FINDING FANNY is dark-dim & gloomy in emotions where every character is either with broken hearts or in deep abandoned state of mind seeking the missing piece in their lives but the way they behave and presented on screen is very caricature-ish yet far more realistic than any Bollywood mainstream cinema. So, there is plenty of room for humor that comes from the wit in the nature of being that character and belonging there in the said situation. Point to be noted here is that you have to be very attentive and alert to not miss any of the punches hidden or underlined in any regular verbal exchange. Special mention to the writer!

The lingo is rooted, earthy and well in-synced with the spirit of English speaking Goan people. Anil Mehta’s visual strokes are like travel postcards. The old houses with fences, bricky textures, neatly stuffed rooms with furniture and props slowly getting into antique mode and picturesque landscapes of Konkan belt are vividly captured. Mathias Duplessy’s tingling music constantly keeps you engaged in the scene. And if not anything, the performances will floor you right away. Naseer’s cute smiles, Pankaj’s lustful eyes, Arjun’s burst of anger, Deepika’s naive beauty and Dimple’s richly layered emotions, there are reasons more than just one to not miss it.

After his last being a 100 Cr club entrance (Deepika-Saif starrer COCKTAIL), FINDING FANNY is like Homi’s homecoming to what he had promised with his first (BEING CYRUS). No non-sense performances, grave humor and a good hand at writing. It is easily one of the most refreshing films you’ve seen this year! [3.5/5]

MARY KOM: Brands Shine in Real Mary Vs. Reel Mary! [2.5/5]

Considering the miserable condition of sports in India, while looking at the 2-min long sponsorship slide-show at the very beginning of the film; there is no prospect one would not sink in deep thoughts as if these many filthy rich business honchos would dare to promote the real life heroes in sports and not just a plain voracious commercial film on few of them, today we would have more than just one Mary Kom or Milkha Singh to be proud of. Art director-turned-film director Omung Kumar’s biopic MARY KOM is an ambitious film yet a noticeable victim of box-office centered commercialization in Indian cinema. And it hurts more than the innumerable solid muscular punches on our actor-in-desperation Priyanka Chopra’s face in the film!

Born as Mangte Chungneijang, Mary Kom is a five-time world boxing champion hailing from the outer world of Manipur. Earnestly we didn’t know much about her or I would say we were not much bothered until the announcement of this very biopic, but the saddest part is even the film, despite a great promise; plays quite cold towards its central character. In a very hectic and harried manner, we are told about her passion towards boxing, her uprise as a noted player in the ring followed by a quickie downfall in her career post-pregnancy.

Saiwyn Quadras’ story is packed with drama and thrills at regular intervals but never actually shocks you with its inevitable nature in the story-telling. Look at the plot development and you can easily identify the set formulaic patterns of just any sports film, only relief is that its central character is a woman, a mother of two and an underdog from one of the most deserted & sidelined states in India. Bollywood hardly and rarely shows guts of this kind!

MARY KOM’s biggest strength is its environs that plant you in the very real-very existent lush green world of North-East. Most of the supporting cast and people around in every frame make themselves rooted in the place they are directed to be in. But two odd things out that you can’t miss or ignore are the brand positioning and, despite not owning any symmetry or likeness in physical appearances, Priyanka Chopra’s firmness in will and exhorting efforts of all kinds to blur the line between real and reel Mary. So whenever you find yourself in awe to be inspired from the living sports legend being portrayed on the screen, there is one or other product placement ready to mellow down all the intensity, force and passion flowing out. An age-old pain-relief ointment, pregnancy test kit, low-calorie sweetener and what not! You can actually play ‘Spot the Brand’ exercise with friends, later.

Priyanka helms the brigade with some of the real promising talents. Darshan Kumar as Onler- the all season supportive husband to Mary is a revelation. He charms the screen with unconventional looks and true to life acting skills. Sunil Thapa as Mary’s strong-headed coach is impressive, so is the actor playing Mary’s father.

My issues with the film can go as much further as some of the sequences appearing too dramatic to be actual but let’s not get into it more and admire the fact that Bollywood has challenged itself with a subject not very common in practice! Better late than never, I say! Some stories need to be told. This is one. Had it been more focused, would have been better! [2.5/5]