CREATURE (3D): ‘Khooni Darinda' by Vikram ‘Ramsay’ of 2014! [1.5/5]

There is a monster on loose in the forests of Himachal Pradesh. Allegedly it is a ‘BrahmRakshasa’ described well in Hindu Mythology as half man-half animal breed cursed by Lord Brahma and to kill it, one should have weapons dipped in the ashes of Peepal tree leaves but wait, it doesn’t work and as Rakesh Bedi gets amazed in the famous Kaayam Choorna TV Commercial, the lead protagonist admits, “Ispe toh inn goliyon ka bhi asar nahin”. Thank God, there is a Plan B mentioned somewhere! Now, we have bullets soaked in the holy water of a famous Hindu Sacred temple, that too on the most auspicious day of the year!

This is not a sleazy story in 90’s ‘Manohar Kahaaniyaan’. This is not a Ramsay Brothers B-grade horror. This is a Vikram Bhatt film labeled as ‘India’s first creature film’ and shamefully seeing light of the day in 2014. Bollywood should get a round of applause for coming so far in all these years! Silliness can be fun; absurdity sometimes does produce entertainment of some kind but so much of regressive approach! Someone somewhere definitely needs a serious therapy and in this case, my sympathies are with the makers.

CREATURE (3D) has Bipasha Basu, playing a hotelier with a past and pills to fight anxiety and the way she acts, you can make out from a mile ago that her medical condition is all made up to show her breathing heavily (…titillating for some, irritating for most) and with all the intensity. She has done masters in the same from of course the ‘Bhatt school of Horror’. You should learn from her how to start or end a conversation with a terrible vocal act of exhaling or inhaling. And if that was not enough, we have Imran Abbas Naqvi supposedly a TV star in Pakistan. Watching him acting in a ‘one expression’ mode is like paying tribute to all the John Abrahams of Bollywood. Why would you need to go out of this country to find such waste? We haven’t done with producing at our own yet.

Now let’s get back to the primary cause for what the film has eventually been made. The 10-feet tall, Hulk-mates-dinosaur, man-eating monster created in highly potent visual graphics machines. No doubt, Bollywood has never seen anything like it before. And seriously, I don’t have any issues with how well it is made or just not but in the genre of horror, there is a certain rule. You can never unleash your force of horror wide-open in daylight to just show off how efficient you were at the execution level. It’s just a week before Priyanka Chopra advised in MARY KOM, “kisi ko itna bhi mat darao, ki darr hi khatam ho jaaye”. There comes a time when you only look at it and ask to yourself, “what the hell is this?”…for the creature and the film also!

With inert songs modeled on Bhatt Camps earlier hits (‘Mehboob ki’ song of Imran’s intro is actually influenced by ‘Saanso ki jaroorat’ from AASHIQUI), terribly average dialogues and an exhaustingly irritating climax, this is a film that doesn’t deserve your attention, money or time. Vikram Bhatt was once a progeny of Mahesh Bhatt School of cinema. He is now creating one of his own, parallel to Ram Gopal Verma’s and Sajid Khan’s! You can ignore him…and the film! [1.5/5] 

MARY KOM: Brands Shine in Real Mary Vs. Reel Mary! [2.5/5]

Considering the miserable condition of sports in India, while looking at the 2-min long sponsorship slide-show at the very beginning of the film; there is no prospect one would not sink in deep thoughts as if these many filthy rich business honchos would dare to promote the real life heroes in sports and not just a plain voracious commercial film on few of them, today we would have more than just one Mary Kom or Milkha Singh to be proud of. Art director-turned-film director Omung Kumar’s biopic MARY KOM is an ambitious film yet a noticeable victim of box-office centered commercialization in Indian cinema. And it hurts more than the innumerable solid muscular punches on our actor-in-desperation Priyanka Chopra’s face in the film!

Born as Mangte Chungneijang, Mary Kom is a five-time world boxing champion hailing from the outer world of Manipur. Earnestly we didn’t know much about her or I would say we were not much bothered until the announcement of this very biopic, but the saddest part is even the film, despite a great promise; plays quite cold towards its central character. In a very hectic and harried manner, we are told about her passion towards boxing, her uprise as a noted player in the ring followed by a quickie downfall in her career post-pregnancy.

Saiwyn Quadras’ story is packed with drama and thrills at regular intervals but never actually shocks you with its inevitable nature in the story-telling. Look at the plot development and you can easily identify the set formulaic patterns of just any sports film, only relief is that its central character is a woman, a mother of two and an underdog from one of the most deserted & sidelined states in India. Bollywood hardly and rarely shows guts of this kind!

MARY KOM’s biggest strength is its environs that plant you in the very real-very existent lush green world of North-East. Most of the supporting cast and people around in every frame make themselves rooted in the place they are directed to be in. But two odd things out that you can’t miss or ignore are the brand positioning and, despite not owning any symmetry or likeness in physical appearances, Priyanka Chopra’s firmness in will and exhorting efforts of all kinds to blur the line between real and reel Mary. So whenever you find yourself in awe to be inspired from the living sports legend being portrayed on the screen, there is one or other product placement ready to mellow down all the intensity, force and passion flowing out. An age-old pain-relief ointment, pregnancy test kit, low-calorie sweetener and what not! You can actually play ‘Spot the Brand’ exercise with friends, later.

Priyanka helms the brigade with some of the real promising talents. Darshan Kumar as Onler- the all season supportive husband to Mary is a revelation. He charms the screen with unconventional looks and true to life acting skills. Sunil Thapa as Mary’s strong-headed coach is impressive, so is the actor playing Mary’s father.

My issues with the film can go as much further as some of the sequences appearing too dramatic to be actual but let’s not get into it more and admire the fact that Bollywood has challenged itself with a subject not very common in practice! Better late than never, I say! Some stories need to be told. This is one. Had it been more focused, would have been better! [2.5/5]