HERO: Oops, try again! [1.5/5]

A lot of hard work, deliberate efforts and forced energy have been put in making/re-making HERO, and it shows. The desired all muscles-heavily tattooed look is achieved, as for as the sincerity and passion at the male lead’s part is concerned. The girl sure has learned a couple of lessons on how to move it; and I am not talking about anything here distantly related to acting. Postcard-perfect locations have been recced and marked. Songs are completely in sync with the hit love-story mould. Even the storyline has been borrowed from a classic romantic drama, still very much admired for its good music, distinctive direction and decent performances. A safe and well-protected launch-pad for two of the Bollywood star-kids is ready. Well, almost! And that ‘almost’ says a lot. Two most important parts of the filmmaking process i.e. the edgy writing and the skilled direction miss the bus; and Nikhil Advani’s HERO turns out to be a sluggishly written- sloppily directed bad film no one would love to be called his/her launch-pad.

Backed by Salman Khan- an institution in himself for today’s gym-loving generation, HERO is made only to establish the mentor’s ego in projecting his loved ones as the next possible stars in Bollywood. The list has many Atul Agnihotris and Pulkit Samrats besides all plastic face look-alikes [Sneha Ullal & Zarine Khan, if you remember]. Sooraj Pancholi and Athiya Shetty secure their places in the same list. The local gangster Sooraj [Played by Jr Pancholi] has kidnapped Radha [Athiya Shetty]- the daughter of Mumbai’s Inspector General of Police Srikant Mathur [Tigmanshu Dhulia] in order to get his godfather Pasha [His real father Sr. Pancholi] released from the jail. And it takes exactly 2 songs and 3 scenes for the fashion-freak & selfie-obsessed Radha to fall in love with an under-qualified but good-hearted ‘Goonda’. I know it hurts to accept him as an under-qualified but he himself confesses in one scene that he can only do either ‘dadagiri’ or ‘bodybuilding’. Now, that can really be an eye-opener to all the gym-fanatics! Anyways, the plot ahead sees the foreseen tussle between the lovers and the rest of the world.

What gets lost in translation from the Subhash Ghai directed original HERO to this latest remake is the conviction in writing and the confidence in direction. Though the writer tries his hard to give it a contemporary feel but could only come up with a few dialogues using internet-savvy lingo and the outdone tattooed look every Bollywood aspirant thinks a must to get big break. Rest of all is outdated, absurd and not at all appealing. The writing is so lethargic and noticeably so embarrassing that you can’t stop grinning about it. The IG of Police is named Sri Kant. The full name of Pasha is Surya Kant Pasha. Even Sooraj is called Surya sometimes. Pasha is called ‘baba’ by Sooraj, Sooraj is called ‘Sooraj Baba’ by Pasha. There is definitely some shortage of names. And then, there is bad direction that borrows heavily from every successful romantic action films in past. The whole entry sequence is so pale and pathetic you want to ask if Salman [The Producer] himself has approved it. In one of the most hilarious scenes, Pasha recalls in front of Sooraj, “Teri maa ko main behan manta tha”. Now, reconsider this as they both are sharing the screen for the first time and Sooraj is projected till now as Pasha’s son! Absurd miscommunication, I say!

On the performances, it’s better not to express much as even they [Sooraj & Athiya] also didn’t much in the film. Sooraj definitely has some screen-presence only till he starts trying to weight his words before speaking. I wish his gym has vocal trainers also! Athiya is unconventionally bad. And thanks to the writing that portrays her even worse! How can playing a dumb be someone’s very first role to impress the world? Sharad Kelkar acts in respected measures and impresses the most of the lot. Tigmanshu looks completely disinterested and drained out. Aditya Pancholi for once underplays it and looks cool while doing it.

Film’s poster has a tagline, “Rebels. Love. Freedom.” Apart from it being grammatically incorrect, I could only give you my word about the last of the three words you would actually feel for, not while watching the film but after leaving the theatre. For Salman? When there is an expert [Mr. Salim Khan] at your hand’s distance, you should better give your script a chance rather than countering film critics’ substance just couple of days before releasing your film. And to Sooraj & Athiya; try again, kids! I know you both are lucky enough to get more chances! [1.5/5]   

KAANCHI: Average mash-up of uninspiring Events! The old Ghai is missed! [2/5]

It is said that once Charlie Chaplin entered a Chaplin look-alike contest and came second in impersonating himself, now that’s an excellent example of compliment for the artist. But if the showman Subhash Ghai wants to make a Subhash Ghai film and ends up making it look like some hardcore fanmade job, it doesn’t leave much scope for any admiration. His latest KAANCHI is a strictly average mash-up of uninspiring events lifted and borrowed mostly from his own works in the past.

KAANCHI tells us about a simple, straightforward and bold girl from some remote village in Uttarakhand [Ghai’s new discovery Mishty], who doesn’t think twice before standing up against the injustice. When a corrupt politician [Mithun Chakraborty] and a rich businessman [Rishi Kapoor in a Malya inspired character], the brothers-cum-partners in crime join hands to grab an illegal land-deal, Kaanchi’s love-interest Binda [PYAAR KA PUNCHNAMA fame Kartik Tiwari] takes the torch to bring them out in the light. Meanwhile, the infatuated son and worthy successor of the evil forces has lusty intentions towards Kaanchi. The fate has worst for her in its kitty but it’s the undying determination that makes her constantly move forward in this fight against injustice.

With a strong likeness of TAAL and PARDES in visual representation and the happening of the events in the film, there is hardly any scene that is not seen before on screen. It is clearly evident that Ghai still lives and breathes in the same world he was in 10-15 years back. No signs of evolution registered! The sights of villagers singing and dancing in chorus on a big community ground having tricolors in their hands are so so done to death. There is no escape for you from watching our leading lady seducing the villain to acquire some important information kept in a micro SD card and if that doesn’t prove to be the cause of death of your interest in the film, you will have to witness another baddie kidnapping family members of the other side. Am I in 2014 or transported in 70’s Bollywood??

On the performances, the new find Mishti looks fresh and a stunning treat for camera lenses and viewer’s eyes. About acting, all I can say is she’s confident but a long way to gain other’s in her. Kartik impresses in his comparatively shorter role. Rishi Kapoor and Mithun Da do it with ease, since that come with the experience they have but their roles will not be much of an unforgettable experience. If anyone who really gets into the skin of the character, it is Chandan Roy Sanyal as a corrupt cop-turned-good helping soul to Kaanchi. He brings life to every frame he’s in.   

Talking about a Subhash Ghai Film and not mentioning its music? Now, that’s another shame. Ridiculous lyrics [one goes like, “Tu mushtanda tu sexy, tu chalti phirti taxi"], lackluster tunes and a totally average album!! I wish you could watch the weirdest medley of the year titled as ‘Kambal ke neeche’ where Mahima Chaudhary makes a special appearance! It’s hard to sit through such idiocy in times where we intent to talk about changing times and still go back to old formulas for safe way of entertainment.

To put this in short, KAANCHI is a 2 hour 30 min long missing report where we see all our hopes to find glimpse of the Subhash Ghai style of filmmaking die sooner or later! Disappointing!! [2/5]