Friday, 14 August 2015

BROTHERS: Use your Right to Stay Away! [1.5/5]

No offense is taken if you have opted for a plot full of hard clichés but treating it like one is a big bad crime. And Karan Malhotra is a serious offender of doing so in his official remake of WARRIOR- a punchful fighting action drama from Hollywood. In fact, he has been accused of the same in his first venture AGNEEPATH- another remake, this time of a Bollywood blockbuster. Thankfully, the 100 Cr indemnity at the box-office saved him from facing the heat. My prayers go straight to him for his latest sin. BROTHERS is as painful as the heavy and heartless punches in the ring could possibly hurt a regular man. It is so formulaic in its melodramatic emotions and in the laziest cinematic treatment that as an evolved movie-watcher, you would feel disgusted, snubbed and insulted for whatever intellect you could bring along. And the worst part is, you pay for it.

Catholics are the most ill-treated [in their standard portrayal] and idly-written characters in any typical Bollywood film. You don’t need to ask for their names or surnames as they are all the same. Any Fernandez or Braganza will do. Even David and Maria are a better connect. And then, put the holy-cross all around in as many ways you can. Tattoos look cool, on Catholics. They can be freely shown drinking their guts out. Isn’t it a must in their religion? Putting merely a ‘Man’ at the end of a sentence and replacing every other word with its English translation in a Hindi sentence will positively end all the doubts of them being a Fernandez or Braganza or a D’Souza. If you are being impatient to typecast the Catholics, you sure should rush to Karan Malhotra. He is the one-point source to anything and everything related to them. He is the next Mahesh Bhatt in this particular field of interest.

Now, let’s look at the plot. The alcoholic Senior Fernandez [Jackie Shroff] is released from the jail after serving a life term for accidently murdering his loving wife [Shefali Shah]. He is the man seeking redemption for his sin. So, the tears need to be constantly in supply whether it is the matter of ‘khushi’ or ‘gham’. By the way, fighting is the family game of the Fernandez. The elder Fernandez [Akshay Kumar] has left it long back for the sake of his family and is now leading a regular low life. The real Fernandez [Jacqueline] plays the better-half of the reel Fernandez. What a cheesy trivia! The younger and step-Fernandez [Another Malhotra, Siddharth] is angry, very angry. Enters Mr Braganza, the filthy Lalit Modi of MMA [Mixed Martial Art] league! The hunt for the champion of the league will also witness the biggest clash in Indian fighting scene. It is blood against blood.

Gavin O’Connor’s WARRIOR was a perfect film for Karan Malhotra to remake. One could smell from miles as how he is going to adopt it. The melodrama is on its highest. People cry, shout and walk like zombies-on the-loose to release and reveal their stressed present and stormed past. The writing is all impudent, brazen and audacious, especially in the second half where running commentary of the event covers the most of the part. Songs are relatively more comforting and that doesn’t include one of the most the nonsensical and nasty item songs featuring Kareena Kapoor Khan. My takeaway from these dance numbers is the fact that no matter how titillating they are in nature, the people around in the song don’t bother to ‘bother’ the lady in the middle. How gentle, polite and tender Indian Men in front of camera can be!

At the end, I know it is not the end. Many have taken an oath to keep the histrionics of old-bollywood clichés alive till they are in business. Karan Malhotra is just one of them. The other Karan [Johar] I am sure will get busy in finalizing the deal of another remake for him, soon after confirming BROTHERS’ weekend collection at the box-office. Brothers in crime! If you don’t want to fight with your conscience, use your right to stay away! [1.5]                                                     

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