ट्रैफिक: बैठे रहिये, बाजपेयी हैं ना! [3/5]

दिवंगत राजेश पिल्लै की मलयालम सुपरहिट थ्रिलर ‘ट्रैफिक’ का हिंदी रीमेक आपको थिएटर की कुर्सी से बांधे रखने के लिए गिने-चुने विकल्प ही सामने रखता है, जिनमें से एक तो है फिल्म की हद इमोशनल स्टोरीलाइन, और मनोज बाजपेयी का बेहद सटीक, संजीदा और समर्पित अभिनय. तकनीकी दृष्टि से फिल्म के कमज़ोर पल हों या कथानक को रोमांचक बनाये रखने के लिए नाटकीयता भरे उतार-चढ़ाव, मनोज बड़ी मुस्तैदी, ख़ामोशी और शिद्दत से ड्राइविंग सीट पर बैठे-बैठे पूरी फिल्म को अकेले खींच ले जाते हैं. हालाँकि अच्छे और नामचीन अभिनेताओं की एक पूरी जमात आपको इस फिल्म का हिस्सा बनते दिखाई देती है, पर एक मनोज ही हैं जिनसे, जिनके अभिनय से और जिनकी कोशिशों से आप लगातार जुड़े रहते हैं...हमेशा!

सच्ची घटनाओं को आधार बना कर, ‘ट्रैफिक’ मानवीय संवेदनाओं से ओत-प्रोत एक ऐसी दिलचस्प और रोमांचक कहानी आप तक पहुंचाती है, जहां जिंदगी तमाम मुश्किलों और मायूसियों के बावज़ूद आखिर में जीत ही जाती है. कभी न हार मानने वाले इसी इंसानी जज़्बे को सलाम करती है ‘ट्रैफिक’! फिल्मस्टार देव कपूर (प्रोसेनजीत चटर्जी] की बेटी को पुणे में जल्द से जल्द हार्ट ट्रांसप्लांट की दरकार है. पता चला है कि मुंबई के एक अस्पताल में एक ऐसा ‘पॉसिबल डोनर’ है जिसके जिंदा रहने की उम्मीद अब लगभग दम तोड़ चुकी है. माँ-बाप (किटू गिडवानी और सचिन खेड़ेकर) अपने बेटे को ‘दी बेस्ट गुडबाई गिफ्ट’ देने का मन बना चुके हैं पर मुंबई से पुणे तक १६० किलोमीटर की दूरी को ढाई घंटे में पूरा करने का बीड़ा कौन उठाये? ट्रैफिक हवलदार रामदास गोडबोले (मनोज बाजपेयी) के लिए ये सिर्फ ड्यूटी बजाने का मौका नहीं है. मिशन पर जाने से पहले वो अपनी बीवी से कहता है, “पता नहीं कर पायेगा या नहीं, पर घूसखोर का लांछन लेके नहीं जीना”.

फिल्म पहले हिस्से में कई बार अपनी ढीली पकड़ और सुस्त निर्देशन से आपको निराश करती है, खास कर जब किरदार एक-एक कर आपके सामने बड़ी जल्दी-जल्दी में परोस दिए जाते हैं. फिल्म को तेज़ रफ़्तार देने के लिए, घटनाओं को घड़ी की टिक-टिक के बीच बाँट कर दिखाने का चलन भी बहुत घिसा पिटा लगता है. हालाँकि इंटरवल आपको हल्का सा असहज महसूस कराने में कामयाब होता है. दूसरे हिस्से में फिल्म जैसे एकाएक सोते हुए जग जाती है और बड़ी तेज़ी से आगे बढ़ने लगती है, पर फिर ड्रामा के नाम पर जिस तरह के उतार-चढ़ाव शामिल होने लगते हैं, उनमें गढ़े होने की बू दूर से ही नज़र आने लगती है. ऐसा लगता है मानो जिंदगी की ये दौड़ अब कोई सस्ती सी विडियो गेम बन कर रह गई है, जहाँ मुश्किलें जानबूझ के हर मोड़ पे और बड़ी होती जा रही हैं. मलयालम फिल्मों में वैसे भी ये कोई नया चलन नहीं.

पियूष मिश्रा जैसे वजनी नामों के बाद भी ‘ट्रैफिक’ के संवाद उतने ही फीके और उबाऊ हैं, जितने उसके नामचीन कलाकारों के बंधे-बंधे बासी अभिनय. प्रोसेनजीत दा का किरदार जाने-अनजाने अनिल कपूर के इतना इर्द-गिर्द बुना गया है कि उससे बाहर उन्हें देख पाना मुश्किल हो जाता है. दिव्या दत्ता, किटू गिडवानी, जिम्मी शेरगिल, सचिन खेड़ेकर, परमब्रता चटर्जी  सभी को हम पहले भी इस खूंटे से बंधे देख चुके हैं. सब अपने घेरे अच्छी तरह पहचानते हैं और उसे तोड़ने की पहल से बचते नज़र आते हैं.

इतने सब के बाद भी, ‘ट्रैफिक’ अपने जिंदा जज़्बे, सच्ची कहानी के तमगे, कुछेक गिनती के ही सही सचमुच के रोमांचक पलों और मनोज बाजपेयी के मजबूत कन्धों के सहारे एक अच्छी फिल्म कहलाने की खुशकिस्मती हासिल कर लेती है. मनोज मिसाल हैं, संवाद अभिनय का एक अभिन्न अंग है, मात्र एक अभिन्न अंग...पूरे का पूरा अभिनय नहीं. देखिये, अगर उनके जरिये अभिनय के बाकी रंग भी देखने हों! देखिये, अगर एक थ्रिलर देखनी हो जिसमें दिल हो, एकदम जिंदा ‘धक-धक’ धड़कता हुआ! [3/5] 

WELCOME BACK: Partly funny-largely frustrating! [2/5]

Anees Bazmee’s WELCOME BACK is a time-machine that takes you in the times of its successful predecessor WELCOME (2007). The moment it takes off, you come to realize that nothing have moved an inch in all these 7-8 years; neither the silliness in the plot nor the sensibility of the director. A girl, despite having strong and extreme dislike for ‘goondas’ gets kissed by one belonging to the same genus and ends up singing and dancing a romantic number with him, without showing any apprehension. This is a crass world where everyone makes a joke on everyone’s looks, features and physical stances irrespective of their gender, age and class. All in the name of entertainment! All for the sake of cheap laughs! Some really work but in the tiring 2 hour and 33 minutes of its total duration, most fall on the face. WELCOME BACK remains a terrible try to reproduce and recreate the box-office magic WELCOME (2007) created long back; which by now, looks like a classic in comparison with this partly funny-largely frustrating flick.

The furious Uday Shetty [Nana Patekar] and the fanatic Majnu Bhai [Anil Kapoor] are looking for a simple, sober and sophisticated groom again for their brand new sister Ranjana [Shruti Haasan]. The search takes them back to Dr. Ghoongroo [Paresh Rawal] whose newly-find son Ajay [John Abraham] loves Ranjana. Now if you are scratching your head to know where these new additions have come from, let me give you a hint. ‘The dark secrets of a happy married life’. Anyways, the trouble in the proposed marriage happens to be the groom himself. Ajay is actually Ajju Bhai- a local don in Mumbai. Things go messy when an international mafia Wanted Bhai [Naseeruddin Shah] makes an entry with his drug-addict son [Shiney Ahuja] wanting to marry Ajay’s love interest and Uday-Majnu’s sister. Meanwhile, there is a con mother-daughter duo [Dimple Kapadia & Ankita Shrivastava] to make it more muddled and mixed-up.

WELCOME BACK is majorly backed by the Nana Patekar-Anil Kapoor combination. Together, they live every moment in the film with total conviction and wholesome energy. Although Bazmee relies more on the third-rate giggles out of unapologetic comments on everyone’s appearances like Anil Kapoor is called ‘Tedhe Kandhe’ because of his leaning body posture, Supriya Karnik’s character is cursed for her hairstyle with ‘boy-cut halkat’ comment etc. The list includes blinds, deafs and dumbs, overweights and what not. The background music constantly hammers on your hearing senses with a completely unbearable chorus-intro for every major character. Sub-plots are added just to complicate the storyline and to make it overcrowded to create a chaotic climax where you can easily fall for the trick and get ready to accept anything that comes on the way to finally end it all. The logics get its high when a blind don gains his eyesight after his head gets banged in a fight. Similarly, the hero manages to run on the humps of running camels to save a life.

In a very few mentionable sequences, Nana and Anil supposedly play Antakshari with ghosts in a graveyard. In other, Rajpal Yadav impresses in a scene where he’s beaten by goons but forced to dance while being in the middle of it. Paresh Rawal is watchable but Dimple, Ankita & Shruti are not even that. John carries off it well. The addition of Naseeruddin Shah to the cast was supposed to recreate the magical presence of Late Feroz Khan but ends up being in an uncomfortable zone. Shiney Ahuja seems out of the place all the time.   

Overall, WELCOME BACK is an old and predictable, long and tiring joke. Some of the performances do make it watchable but the lack of smart writing-clever punches-logical explanations, and idiocy in the storyline kills the fun and the pun both. If WELCOME had amused you, this will annoy you. [2/5]                        

DIL DHADAKNE DO: Parents, O Parents! A long family affair! [3.5/5]

An ideal family is a myth. Issues like gender discrimination, forceful implementations of the patriarchy power, constant manipulations over fake morality, compromises for the sake of saving relationships and a flair of hypocrisy even in the most sober looking character do lie in every family. It’s only a matter of time to experience what will surface and when. A dysfunctional family as they call it is nothing but an elaborated term for any family out in this world. Zoya Akhtar's DIL DHADAKNE DO offers you a chance for a paid visit to one of these 'dysfunctional' families.

Anil Kapoor plays the ‘self-made’ millionaire Mehra, who’s celebrating his 30^th marriage anniversary with Mrs. Mehra [Shefali Shah] on a cruise. The daughter Mehra [Priyanka Chopra] losing her surname now to her husband’s after marriage is irked with the invitation-card not carrying her name as a family-member. The son Mehra [Ranveer Singh] is trying his hard to fit in his father’s shoes. Along with some close friends and relatives, Mehras are out on loose on the cruise. Everything looks perfectly planned, well-designed, glossy, shiny and desirable until the real issues within the family start melting down all the plastics on the most beautiful looking faces on earth. The daughter Mehra wants to move in life and is now asking for a divorce. The son Mehra is blackmailed emotionally to marry the daughter of one of the possible business partners. The catch for the son Mehra is a private jet he finds his true love in. Parents, O parents!

Zoya Akhtar with Reema Kagti presents to you a gorgeous looking family you might wish to have in your next life but with the short and sour problems chances are you’re already facing in this very life. Who haven’t been preached all his life hearing the same-old struggle-story of his father from the horse’s mouth? Do mothers ever fail in ‘baby-ing’ the son even if he’s started dating hot babes? And then, there is this epic scheming side of the parents who are alive only to see their sons/daughters getting married. The best part is the Zoya-Reema duo doesn’t try to sink you in the murkiness of the situations but saves you with the quirk in dialogues and a flashy wit in the nature of the characters. Despite a certain kind of dreariness in the plot and the slacken off duration, film manages to keep you smiling for the most parts.

With a picturesque star-cast that looks like coming to a special edition magazine cover photo-shoot, DIL DHADKANE DO never actually has a dull frame. Even the brigade of supporting actors like Divya Seth Shah, Parmeet Sethi, Vandana Sajnani, Ridhima Sud, Vikrant Massey and Manoj Pahwa charmingly finds its place to rise and shine. Also Farhan, Priyanka, Rahul Bose and Anushka are branded names to come up with performances you can’t crib about but eventually DIL DHADAKNE DO finds its acting-giants in Anil Kapoor, Ranveer Singh and Shefali Shah. All of these three names have rediscovered themselves in their own way. Anil Kapoor’s performance as a suave, money-driven, self-centered, crude, controlling and calculative patriarch is terrific. Ranveer Singh surprises as well. Probably for the first time, he has brought something called subtly in his performance and it’s totally rewarding. Move over his ‘ever ready’ charged up energy assurance, here is an actor a lot more yet to be explored. Shefali Shah is brilliant and makes you wonder why Bollywood hasn’t given her yet what she deserves. Well done, Ma’am!

To conclude, DIL DHADAKNE DO suffers two major slip-ups. One being the length of the film of course and the other is the narration given by none other than Aamir Khan lending his voice to the younger Mehra of the family; a dog! Yes, you heard it right.  Now, this can be an ‘Aww’ moment for puppy-loving beauties but for the film, it does throw a fit of boredom on you. Watch out for some real ‘surprising’ performances and dialogue-driven humor! [3.5/5]

KHOOBSURAT: Maddening Beauty!! The overacting lead spoils the fun! [2/5]

Opposites attract. Just like in most of the romantic fairytales; they do meet, greet & kiss each other in Shashanka Ghosh’s candy floss love-story KHOOBSURAT too, but it’s more like ‘Irresistible meets irritating’ and ‘alluring meets annoying’. The later being Sonam Kapoor, of course! First reaction, why should a chick-flick need to be a dumb comedy of convenience? Why should the girl being portrayed as the most carefree, lively and good-natured human on earth has to be loud, noisy, illogical and a stack of overacting on the performer’s side? No wonder, there are times you want to call it off but then, multiplexes aren’t your personal home theatre system that comes with a full functional remote.

Official remake of Hrishikesh Mukherji’s classic family drama of same name, KHOOBSURAT sticks to the basic premise from the old reference. A young, fashionable and spontaneous physiotherapist [Sonam playing mostly herself] is sent to a royal palace to take care of ‘His Highness’ on wheel chair. This perfectly punctual & controlled museum of people with religiously followed discipline in veins is lead by a sophisticated yet dominating ‘Her Highness’, played by the very reliable Ratna Pathak Shah. No prizes for guessing that there is a prince charming [Pakistani poster boy Fawad Khan in a well-suited role] ready to be the last & final nail in the coffin before the house of infinite rules gets down by our sweet, silly and stylish physiotherapist.

Shashanka Ghosh creates a world of picture perfect frames with royal real locations, best of props, designer dresses, all flashy colors, vibrant and charmingly polished characters and also succeeds in giving us some extremely beautiful scenes like prince Vikram Singh Rathore trying to talk casual things with his father & the ‘His Highness’. You could actually feel the uncomfortable zone they are in. In other merits, the very experimental music by Sneha Khanwalkar of ‘Gangs of Wasseypur’ fame is a refreshing and notable change in Bollywood soundtracks.  

Film if falters, it is all because of piercing loudness in characters supposedly being the biggest admirers of life. So despite being a known physiotherapist to a T-20 Cricket Team, this ‘Barbie doll’ in hot pants doesn’t necessarily know the dining table etiquettes and also doesn’t bother to hesitate while asking a young girl of 17 about her boyfriend, that too in front of her mother and just a minute later their first meeting. She is also seen invading premise of historic importance to pose for her Facebook profile picture. You can giggle or laugh out loud considering this funny but I would settle this as another dose of Sajid Khan Humor.

On the performances, Sonam plays it cool but thanks to the writing, she ends up being the most annoying and overacted piece of this beautifully painted picture-frame. Fawad shows that his popularity comes not merely with the looks but the earnestness in acting skills. I wish his female fans could switch from ‘He’s so hot’ to ‘He’s damn good’. He deserves that. Theatre veteran Aamir Raza Hussain as ‘His Highness’ is the surprise package! Ratna Pathak Shah’s is an extended ‘Sarabhai’ act beautifully done. Kirron Kher as the loudmouthed Punjabi Mother to Sonam’s character is too cliché to enjoy. I could only say, “Manju, [Sonam calls her by her name in the film] ab bass kar!”

At the end, KHOOBSURAT is ‘khoobsurat’ in the looks, amusingly witty in parts and depressingly maddening for the most. Revisiting episodes of ‘Sarabhai Vs Sarabhai’ on YouTube is way better option if you’re in search of good laugh. Watch it only if you can’t say ‘NO’ to your girlfriend! Doesn’t that include all of men on earth? Poor us!! [2/5]

SHOOTOUT AT WADALA: Avoid it and feel blessed.

What could be the bigger irony that Bollywood has come up with release of a film like SHOOTOUT AT WADALA on the same day; Indian cinema got its first film released? It's been 100 years now...and we still believe in such regressive product.

Sanjay Gupta's obsession with underworld is not concealed to anyone whoever is familiar with his name. But with SHOOTOUT AT WADALA, he stinks like rotten vegetables more, than just sticking to his love. It's a male chauvinist film that relies completely on exhibition of bare body in irrelevance to genders, showcasing muscle power in slow motion, hammering action sequences with forcibly breaking glasses- screeching sound, glorifying the negatives, unapologetic foul-mouthed characters, titillating portrayal of women as sex symbols...and what not! 

Victimized by police, Manya surve- allegedly a sincere student is now force-fit into the pit of crime, only to face the deadly hollows of rivalry with the uprising D-gang and some fearless men in uniforms...the plot sounds good but it ends where it hasn’t even begin from. 

Based partly on S. Hussain zaidi's book on the first encounter ever in history by Mumbai police, the film rather than documenting the facts, decides to create 'ho-halla' over star values and item numbers on regular intervals in the name of entertainment...that too in its loudest & worst form. You never feel for Manya Surve once, even when just before end credits, screen reads, "Manya got 78% marks with distinction in his academics the day he got arrested." I seriously doubt if Sanjay Gupta has really read or kept Zaidi's book in question on his film set to bring some authenticity to the story line.

With 150 min of 'hard to sit through' duration and low-IQ'd dialogues that if I could write any of them here, it would have more stars than the whole movie gets from me. It is a total waste of your money and time. We have seen much better underworld dramas in Bollywood in the past; this is nowhere close to any of them. Avoid it and feel blessed. ** [2/5]

P.S. This film sees debut of Siddhant Kapoor, son of the veteran Shakti Kapoor…and all I can say about his acting and appearance is that “jhelne ke liye ek hi shakti kapoor kafi the, aap kyun aa gaye??”