ACTION JACKSON: Torture has a new name! Don’t take the risk! [1/5]

India is a land where superstitions are the most fertile substance, that too without having much substance. Ranging from the black cat crossing your path to someone sneezing at you while you’re making your best move; superstitions don’t demand much but quite a few non-rational minds with blind-faith. Add a new count to the list. If you are a girl tagged as ‘unlucky’ by your friends and have same amount of common sense as Sonakshi flaunts in the film, here is the good news. Seeing someone special [Ajay Devgn in this case] in his undies could get you promotions in your job or you might also win a jackpot at your nearest mega mart. I wish making audience feel the same would have been so easy for Prabhudheva!

Prabhudheva’s latest brainless entertainer ACTION JACKSON is a terribly torturous exercise not only to watch it as a viewer but also to recollect and reconcile it on paper as a film reviewer. Trust me, I could go and copy paragraphs from my earlier reviews of such mindless 100 Cr club entries to paste it here and you would never notice a thing. But then, I am no Prabhudheva myself. There’s nothing called story in this weirdly comic and miserably painful action drama as such; still, I would try my best to make you understand how difficult and excruciating it could get to sit through.

Ajay Devgn plays a good-hearted gunda who can intimidate a school principal for not giving admission to a street-vendor’s son just because the father is an illiterate. So what if while doing such good social work with help of the shining dagger in his hands, he forgets that the kid is there in the frame too, probably having wrong impressions about which career is the most considerable and dependable of the both. Sonakshi plays you know what. She has been playing this role for the nth time now and is still, very far from mastering it. Kunaal Roy Kapoor of ‘DELHI BELLY’ enters the Limca Book of worst Records for making a mark in slap-stick comedies. He gets slapped non-stop in every scene he makes appearance in to bring some smile on your face. Acting is a painful process for many, I guess!

And then; in the midst of so many disappointments, shines and rises the Femina Miss India 2010 Manasvi Mamgain making her debut as the bad girl Marina. She carries her promise at the pageant to empower women in India by playing a tough and determined girl who intrepidly dares the machoman Ajay Devgn in the film with, “Mujhe jo cheej pasand aa jaaye, wo meri ho jaati”. Bravo, for beating all the Gulshan Grovers & Prem Chopras of Bollywood!

Overall, ACTION JACKSON is filled with gravity-defying action sequences, absurdly placed dance numbers, comedy that hardly tickles any bone and a lot of ear-deafening sound effects. The plot gets thicken only at the time of interval when the twist gets unraveled. And it works, especially to make you convinced about not leaving the film in the interval only. Mission successful! You are fooled, again. Like said in the first para, India is a land of superstitions. Blending hysterical hammering action, bizarrely non-sense comedy and rude romance with added star-value would make a complete entertainer, is another myth. Don’t trust. Stay away! [1/5]  

SINGHAM RETURNS: A pair of earplugs could save a lot for you! Rest is all wasted! [2/5]

The consequences of a film joining the over-hyped ‘100 Cr’ club could be many but one you don’t really want to face in most cases, is its inescapable and obvious sequel. Rohit Shetty’s SINGHAM RETURNS is one of those. As a fellow cop in the team makes it loud and clear soon after hero’s grand entry on screen, “Gaanv se shaher badla hai par apne Bajirao Singham ke kaam karne ka tareeka ab bhi wahi hai”! Translation could read, “Only the locations have been changed and the settings, Singham is all the same”. Spot on! SINGHAM RETURNS is a mindless action entertainer that tickles your heart less and hammers on your head more. I hope it hints you enough to carry earplugs and a couple of pills, in case of severe headache!

The new playground for Bajirao Singham [Ajay Devgn back in his vest & khaki avatar] is the city of Mumbai where corrupt politicians force their own set of rules to rule. An Anna Hazare in disguise idealistic Guruji [Anupam Kher in an extended guest appearance] is unwavering about cleaning the filth called corruption and black money from politics but the evil forces including barely a sketchy politician [Zakir Hussain in his probably most attempted character on screen] and a phony holyman who immediately gets into his cool casuals with a glass of beer in hands when not in some public appearances, have their own vicious plans. Singham returns to fight for freedom, justice and enforcement of law in the system, against these mean minds.

Rohit Shetty’s SINGHAM RETURNS clearly shows his over-confidence in the most usual and sub-standard plot. An honest cop’s frustration and distress while on duty leads him to be transformed into a fearless fighter who can also go beyond law to teach lawbreakers a hard lesson. So far so good! So far some respite! But when you see Ajay devgn mouthing dialogues like, “dhoom machaani hai machao, par bike ki gati [speed] par nahin, desh ki pragati [progress] par”, you sure can guess where it’s going. And SINGHAM RETURNS does that often. Where the first half is quite alike any regular episode of the longest running cop-drama CID on TV [You can also find the loveably single-minded Daya here to act on his favorite, “Daya, Darwaja tod do!”, second half is more of Shetty-special shootouts, blasts and ceaseless gravity-defying goon-bashing sequences.     

The other part that doesn’t go well with the film is the love-track! Kareena Kapoor plays Avni who besides dreaming to own a franchise of salon, can be seen frenzied over the idea of her marriage to Singham. It is the least appreciated thing if you have especially come out to see a Rohit Shetty Action entertainer. On the performances, Ajay does what people love to see him doing. A macho man who is invincible, intrepid and heroic in every sense! Kareena irritates, well mostly! Amole Gupte slips into the skin of Chandraswamy like Guru of political influences well and succeeds in providing some not sufficient but good laughs.

At the end, a strict warning for parents! If the child artist’s ‘mala raga gheto hai’ act in Yo Yo Honey Singh’s ‘Aati majhi satakali’ song looks cute to you and your kid, it doesn’t necessarily mean the film is for kids! Stop taking your kids in each and every film you go for! It is like in between those blasting-flying-on fire SUVs in the film, you see a trapped Tata Nano being driven by Ajay Devgn and you go into serious prayers, “No, not this! Don’t! You can’t!” Watch it only if you’re one of those unfortunates who are still at home on this extended weekend! Rest, do not bother! [2/5]

HOLIDAY: Think twice! Entertainment is off duty! [2/5]

It is quite hard to decide what is more exasperating in A R Murugadoss’ HOLIDAY- A Soldier Is Never Off Duty, the distasteful-impolite & offensive exposé of modern Indian women or the overenthusiastically proud praise of Indian Army? The leading lady here [Ms ‘100 Cr’ Sinha] is apparently a new-age rebellious daughter who could give serious threat to the mother and slap hard to her father if asked to do something not of her interest. Meanwhile, she’s also dumb as a doll to decide getting married instantly whoever comes in way as guys with sharp brain & good looks are vanishing fast from earth. Right!

And now the driving force; if not busy in trying to fulfill his lady’s wish to perform a kiss [???] or shaking his legs too often, the soldier never off duty [the ageing Akshay Kumar] constantly gets into a preachy mode to justify and establish how and why the Indian Army men are better & more dependable for country’s security than police and civilians. Yeah! Right!!

HOLIDAY- a remake of Murugdoss’s Tamil superhit THUPPAKKI is not a bad film at all as it has all the possible & potential ‘masalas’ for a ‘dhansu’ action entertainer. A hero who’s always a step ahead of villain’s deadly plans of mass-destruction, a heroine who’s ever ready to step in to the dancing shoes, non-stop action, solid dialoguebaazi but what it lacks is the sense of being and belonging. Though I know this is not a kind one should look out for much reasoning but the common sense not to be found even in traces is rather hurtful.

Film sustains and succeeds in introducing the concept of ‘sleeper-cells’ in India but sadly it is presented more of as a plain verbal threat and no inside out hard-hitting visuals to support the premise. I wish it could have explored the functioning of this dreadful modus oparandi of terrorism rather than just focusing on one man behind all this especially when you aren’t equipped with an impressive antagonist. Though he has the built and basics of a good baddie, Freddy Daruwala as the brainy guy behind terrific act of terrorism looks more like a sidekick to Vidyut Jamwal who had played the same role in the original. Govinda makes a short & sweet special appearance but looks completely off sync. He sure deserves better roles to justify his age and caliber. Sumeet Raghvan is some relief.

On the whole; with a nearly 3 hours of duration, this ‘trying to be smarter than the smartest’ thriller-cum-entertainer is like a dull, boring and extended holiday trip where you don’t really have much to explore and sight-see but the luxury and comfort of a premium hotel. Just fall in the bed, sleep, eat, sleep again and come back with a promise never to be back in the same territory again. Hope Akshay could hear this out! [2/5]

R…RAJKUMAR: The Worst Mash-up of Action, Emotion & Drama! Southern curry turns sour & tasteless!! [1.5/5]

Try to visualize 12 minutes of bone cracking- neck breaking fight stunts, 10 minutes of absurdly insensitive & irksome concept of romance where the boy does nothing but stalking the girl and 3-4 minutes of bum shaking- chest popping dance sequences filled with pelvic movements & blended in with equally annoying lyrics with no sense or sensibility! It is not hard I guess, since we all have seen such formula lately in many 100 Cr club entries. Now, multiply this whole formula with 5, add some credit rolls in the opening & closing and whatever filth/waste you will take home is nothing but Prabhu Dheva’s southern curry & sheer stupidity in the name of mass entertainment called ‘R…RAJKUMAR’!  

‘R…RAJKUMAR’ is the worst mash-up of all the ingredients required for a blockbuster. It has action, it has drama and it has humor but lacks a good punch in the storyline and the much-needed smart & skilled expert hands to mix it well. The wafer-thin story doesn’t give much scope to shock & surprise you in every sense. Romeo Rajkumar [Shahid Kapoor’s first & the most commercial attempt to set the box-office ringing], a fearless rowdy working as the most promising sidekick to Shivraj [Sonu Sood in an equal share of screen presence] falls in love at the first sight with Chanda [Sonakshi gets repetitive in her typical ‘Dabangg’ avatar]. Game Changes when Shivraj’s lust for Chanda forces Rajkumar to stand against his powerful master.

Film doesn’t bother to show any kind of involvement of intelligence, sensibility or respect, neither in writing nor in performances. Characters mouth dialogues that start & end with harsh addressing sounds and with very little hints of logics! Women here are just a material to own at any cost and even thrown in the pool of gaming as the winner’s trophy. In performances, Shahid shows off his upper hand in highly flexible moves for action & dance. Sonu also succeeds in flaunting his well-built muscles and in some of the comic scenes. Sonakshi should really need to work on her priorities in choosing roles. I fear if this would land her in the league of forgetful actors. In others; from Ashish Vidyarthi to Asrani, everyone else is as loud as they could be. Notice if you can, Bharat Dabholkar wearing Merlyn Monroe printed Ties whenever he appears on the screen and that could add some joy to feel in the wasteland of tasteless entertainment.        

In the very climax, Shivraj beats & thrashes Rajkumar his guts out with metal rods, wooden furniture and anything that comes in way! Our Romeo Rajkumar as he is supposed to be in deep love; feels no pain or hurting…so do we but because of the beatings and bashings we have been experiencing since the very start to become numb till the time, to any kind of brutality.  

In other words or in better words if I choose to describe Prabhu Dheva’s  ‘R…RAJKUMAR’, it would end up sounding like bam…bang…bash…biff…buff…bong…bonk…bop…clang…clank…crash…dong…fash…pock…plunk…shoop…shwap…swoosh…snap…slap…splat…throb…thud…thump…thung…thunk…tup…whack…wham…whop…whump and zlopp! This weekend, be blessed-be safe-stay at home! [1.5/5]