नूर: ‘लाइक इट फॉर सोनाक्षी!’ [3/5]

‘नूर’ बॉलीवुड में किसी बहुत बड़े बदलाव का दावा नहीं करती, पर अपने देखने वालों को ऐसा न कर पाने का ग़म भी मनाने नहीं देती. कैसे आजकल की फिल्मों को जमीनी और ज़हीन होने की जरूरत है, इस कसौटी पर अक्सर हम दर्शक और फिल्म-समीक्षक उन्हें सिरे से खारिज़ करते या सर पर बैठाते आये हैं. ‘नूर’ इस मामले में हमसे कहीं ज्यादा समझदारी दिखाती है. हिंदी फिल्मों के लिए आज अगर ‘मेनस्ट्रीम सिनेमा’ का कोई ख़ाका मेरे दिमाग में बनता है, तो ‘नूर’ उसके बहुत आस-पास है. ‘नूर’ अपने मुख्य किरदार की ही तरह, एक ही वक़्त में भरोसेमंद भी है, और ढुलमुल भी; पर उसकी तरह बेतरतीब, बेपरवाह और बेढंगी बिलकुल नहीं.

नूर रॉय चौधरी (सोनाक्षी सिन्हा) की ज़िंदगी में शिकायतों की कोई कमी नहीं. घर के खराब गीज़र से लेकर टीआरपी खोजने वाली पत्रकारिता की दुनिया में मुर्दे की तरह ठंडा कैरियर; नूर हर बात पर रोने-धोने वाली कोई भी आम लड़की है. उसे सनी लियॉन के इंटरव्यू से ज्यादा असली लोगों की असली जिंदगी में झाँकने का शौक है. और हड़बड़ी कि कब उसे भी ‘इश्यू बेस्ड’ जर्नलिस्म में जौहर दिखाने का मौका मिले. यहाँ तक की फिल्म पूरी ताजगी और हलके-फुल्के पलों के साथ आपको कई सारी अच्छी हॉलीवुड ‘डेट’ फिल्मों की याद लगातार दिलाती रहती है, खासकर ‘ब्रिजेट जोंस’ सीरीज के फिल्मों की. घटनाएं इसके बाद संजीदा हो जाती हैं, जब नूर को एक ऐसा ही मौका मिलता है, पर अपने बचकाने रवैय्ये से वो सब कुछ गँवा बैठती है.

सनहिल सिप्पी के खाते में ‘स्निप!’ जैसी इंडी फिल्म पहले से है. ‘नूर’ के साथ वो 17 साल बाद बॉलीवुड में वापसी कर रहे हैं. पाकिस्तानी लेखिका सबा इम्तियाज़ की किताब ‘कराची, यू आर किलिंग मी’ पर आधारित, ‘नूर’ में सनहिल मेनस्ट्रीम हिंदी फिल्मों को एक नयी खुशबू में पिरो कर पेश करने का प्रयोग करते हैं, जो देखने में बहुत कुछ ‘डियर जिंदगी’ और ‘कपूर एंड संस’ जैसा ही लगता है. हालाँकि ‘नूर’ की कहानी में इन दोनों फिल्मों जैसी सच्चाई और ईमानदारी थोड़ी कम ही है, फिर भी फिल्म में 3 चीजें आपको एक पल के लिए भी निराश नहीं करतीं. सोनाक्षी को इस फिल्म में एक ‘न्यूकमर’ की तरह देखा जाना चाहिए, एक कॉंफिडेंट न्यूकमर की तरह. बड़ी-बड़ी नायक-प्रधान फिल्मों में अपनी बेबाकी और दिलेरी से वो भले ही जगह बनाए रखने में कामयाब दिखी हों, इस छोटी सी फिल्म के साथ अभिनेता के तौर पर, सोनाक्षी अपनी हर हद तोड़ने की कोशिश करती हैं, और कामयाबी कई बार महज़ कोशिशों में भी खोजी जानी चाहिए. ‘मुंबई, यू आर किलिंग मी’ के मोनोलॉग में सोनाक्षी को सराहते-सराहते, अचानक आप इशिता मोइत्रा उधवानी के लिखे संवादों की तारीफ़ के लिए सटीक शब्दों की खोज करने लगते हैं. पैने, तीखे, धारदार, बेतकल्लुफ़, नपे-तुले, मज़ेदार; मेरे जेहन में कुछ इतने ही आये हैं. इशिता की कलम वहाँ सबसे ज्यादा प्रभावित करती है, जहां आप पहले से जानते हैं कि किरदार कुछ रटा-रटाया ही बोलने वाले हैं, जैसे कैमरे के सामने स्मिता ताम्बे के किरदार का बयान.

फिल्म में किको नाकाहारा का कैमरा बड़ी ख़ूबसूरती से मुंबई को परदे पर उकेरता है. किरदारों के हाव-भाव कैद करने में नाटकीयता का सहारा कम ही लेता है, और एक सपनीली दुनिया की तरह सब कुछ अच्छा-अच्छा दिखाने में ज्यादा मशगूल रहता है, मगर बहुत ही सधे हुए प्रयोगों के साथ. यही वजह है कि अक्सर किको अपने आप को दोहराते जरूर नज़र आते हैं, पर कहीं भी बोर नहीं करते. मशहूर स्टैंड-अप कॉमिक कनन गिल औसत राइटिंग की वजह से फिल्म में दिखते तो बहुत हैं, अच्छे भी लगते हैं पर बहुत ज्यादा प्रभावित नहीं कर पाते. शिबानी दांडेकर, पूरब कोहली, स्मिता ताम्बे और मनीष चौधरी एक साथ मिलकर फिल्म को एक मज़बूत सपोर्ट सिस्टम की तरह संभालते हैं. फिल्म के छोटे से छोटे दृश्यों में भी इन कलाकारों की मौजूदगी आपकी दिलचस्पी कम नहीं पड़ने देती.

एक दृश्य में, नूर अपनी नाराज़ कामवाली बाई मालती (स्मिता ताम्बे) के बंद कमरे के सामने बैठी उसे फेसबुक पर फ्रेंड-रिक्वेस्ट भेजती है. नूर की बेवकूफी की वजह से मालती अपना भाई खो चुकी है. फिल्म के आखिरी दृश्यों में, मालती के लिए इन्साफ की लड़ाई लड़ते हुए नूर सोशल मीडिया का सहारा लेती है, और फिर कहीं जाकर एक दिन मालती उसका फ्रेंड-रिक्वेस्ट मान लेती है. ‘नूर’ एक फिल्म के तौर पर इतनी ही असली, इतनी ही कम महत्वाकांक्षी, इतनी ही भोली और इतनी ही फिल्मी है. फेसबुक और ट्विटर पर पोस्ट्स लिखने से क्रांति नहीं आती, ‘नूर’ अच्छी तरह जानती है, पर ‘लाइक्स’ तो आते हैं. ‘लाइक इट फॉर सोनाक्षी!’ [3/5]

फ़ोर्स 2: बुरा भला है. नायक से खलनायक अच्छा! [2/5]

अपने तमाम समकालीन फिल्मों की तरह ही, ‘फ़ोर्स 2’ भी सीक्वल होने का कोई भी धर्म निभाने में दिलचस्पी नहीं दिखाती; सिवाय गिनती के दो-चार दृश्यों में जहां एसीपी यशवर्धन (जॉन अब्राहम) अपनी स्वर्गीया पत्नी माया (जेनेलिया देशमुख, मेहमान भूमिका में) से यादों में रू-ब-रू होते हैं. वरना तो इस फिल्म को आप ‘रॉकी हैण्डसम 2’ या ‘ढिशूम 2’ ही क्यूँ न कह लें, किसी की क्या मजाल, जो अंतर बता भी सके. हाँ, दो बातें अहम् हैं, जो इस फिल्म की बड़ी खासियत कही जा सकती हैं. एक तो ये ‘आजकल’ की फिल्म है. मामले की गंभीरता को समझाने के लिए ‘ये देश की सुरक्षा का मामला है’ जैसे जुमले यहाँ दिल खोल कर बोले जाते हैं. पाकिस्तान को डायलाग बोल-बोल कर तबाह कर देना, बॉलीवुड के लिए अब जैसे पुराना हो चला है. चीन है अब हमारा अगला निशाना. हीरो पहले भी अंडरकवर मिशन पर जाता था, विदेशी धरती पर खलनायकों का कीमा बना के लौट आता था, पर इस बार उसके इरादे और लोहा हो गए हैं. उसकी बुलंद आवाज़ में जैसे कोई और भी दहाड़ रहा है, “देश बदल रहा है, सर! अब हम घर में घुस के मारते हैं!”

दूसरी खासियत है, फिल्म का दकियानूसी विवादों से बचे रहने की लगातार कोशिश. यहाँ देश से गद्दारी करने वाला कोई ‘अब्दुल’ या ‘सलीम’ नहीं है, बल्कि शिव शर्मा (ताहिर राज भसीन) है, जिसकी वजहें भले ही निजी और ज़ज्बाती हों, गुनाह तनिक भी हलके नहीं हैं. उसके तेवरों में भी धार और चमक आजकल वाली ही है, “देशभक्त और देशद्रोही की बहस तो आप मुझसे कीजियेगा ही मत, हार जायेंगे!”. पर इन सब के और अपनी सांसें रोक देने वाली तेज़ रफ़्तार के बावजूद, अभिनय देव की ‘फ़ोर्स 2’ एक आम एक्शन फिल्म है, जहां लॉजिक और इमोशन्स दोनों ही स्टाइल की भेंट चढ़ जाते हैं. ‘फ़ोर्स’ सुपरहिट तमिल फिल्म ‘काखा काखा’ की रीमेक थी, इसलिए साउथ इंडियन फिल्मों का सबसे कामयाब और स्पेशल ‘इमोशनल’ एंगल फिल्म में भरपूर मात्रा में था. ‘फ़ोर्स 2’ सिर्फ और सिर्फ आपकी आँखों तक पहुँचता है, न दिल तक, न दिमाग तक!

हंगरी में भारत के रॉ (रिसर्च एंड एनालिसिस विंग) एजेंट्स को कोई एक-एक करके मार रहा है. इन्वेस्टीगेशन मिशन पर जा रहे हैं दो लोग. मुंबई क्राइम ब्रान्च के एसीपी यशवर्धन (जॉन अब्राहम), जिनका जासूस दोस्त पहले ही शहीद हो गया है और क्यूंकि रॉ चीफ के अनुसार, ‘पहला क्लू यश को ही मिला था”. दूसरी हैं रॉ की सबसे काबिल ऑफिसर कमलजीत कौर उर्फ़ के.के. (सोनाक्षी सिन्हा). के.के. गोली नहीं चला सकतीं. उसके पीछे उनके अपनी वजहें हैं. और मुझे नहीं पता, ये राज़ उनके डिपार्टमेंट में किस किस को पता था? और फिर वो दूसरी क्या खूबियाँ थीं उनमें, जिसकी वजह से उन्हें इस मिशन के लिए चुना गया? स्मार्ट होंगी शायद, पर जब एक जगह फिल्म के खलनायक शिव (ताहिर राज़ भसीन) उन्हें टिप देते हैं, रॉ का एक और एजेंट अगले आधे घंटे में मारा जाने वाला है और सिर्फ वो ही उसे बचा सकती हैं; के.के. का दिमाग सिग्नल भेजता है, “इसका मतलब वो एजेंट कहीं आस-पास ही है” इसके तुरंत बाद आपका दिमाग के.के. से आपका ध्यान हटा कर फिल्म के निर्देशक की ओर ले जाता है, जो अगले बीस मिनट तक लम्बे-लम्बे शूटआउट्स के साथ, दिन से रात होने के बाद भी ‘जल्दी करो, सिर्फ 10 मिनट और बचे हैं’ की घुट्टी दर्शकों को बड़ी बेशर्मी से पिलाते रहते हैं.

‘फ़ोर्स 2’ उन तमाम फिल्मों की अगली कड़ी है, जिनमें सिनेमेटोग्राफी और एक्शन को कहानी से ज्यादा तवज्जो मिलती है. ऐसे फिल्मों में अभिनय की बारीकियां ढूँढने की गलती न मैं करता हूँ, न ही आपको करनी चाहिए. फिर भी. जॉन अब्राहम जिस्मानी दर्द को परदे पर परोसने में ज्यादा मेहनत दिखाते हैं, चाहे वो चलती कार को हाथों से उठाने का स्टंट हो या मार-पीट के दौरान बदन में घुसी कील को निकालने की जद्दोजेहद. सोनाक्षी रॉ एजेंट दिखने में सारा वक़्त और सारी मेहनत बर्बाद कर देती हैं. काश, उनके किरदार को थोड़ी सूझबूझ भी, खैरात में ही सही, फिल्म के लेखकों ने दे दी होती. ये वो काबिल ऑफिसर है, जो ‘मिशन कौन लीड करेगा?’’ जैसे सवालों में ही खुश रहती है. ‘फ़ोर्स 2’ टाइटल को अगर जायज़ ठहराना हो तो, ‘2’ इशारा करेगा जॉन और सोनाक्षी की जोड़ी को, और पूरा का पूरा फ़ोर्स जायेगा ताहिर के नाम. ताहिर अपनी खलनायकी में हर वो रंग परोसते हैं, जो मजेदार भी है, रोमांचक भी है और थोड़ा ही सही पर इमोशनल भी. आम तौर पर ये सारा कुछ हीरो के जिम्मे होता है. इस बार नहीं.

अंत में, ‘फ़ोर्स 2’ इतनी तेज़ रफ़्तार से आपकी आँखों के सामने चलता रहता है, कि ज्यादातर वक़्त आपको सोचने का वक़्त भी नहीं मिलता. अब यही खासियत भी है, और यही नाकामी भी. जितनी तेज़ी से चीजें चलती रहती हैं, उतनी ही तेज़ी से चली भी जाती हैं. आखिर बुरा वक़्त जितनी जल्दी गुज़र जाए, अच्छा ही होता है! [2/5]    

अकीरा: मानसिक अत्याचार! [1/5]

ए आर मुरुगदास की नई फिल्म ‘अकीरा’ की शुरुआत एक सूफी कहावत से होती है. “कुदरत भी आपके उसी गुण का बार बार इम्तिहान लेती है, जो आपके अन्दर सबसे ज्यादा है”. ये बात मुझ जैसे फिल्म समीक्षकों पर एकदम सटीक बैठती है. शुक्रवार-दर-शुक्रवार खराब फिल्मों को झेलने का जिस तरह का और जितना जोखिम हम उठा रहे होते हैं, उतनी ही बेदर्दी से ख़राब फिल्मों का ज़खीरा अगले हफ्ते फिर हमारी तरफ रुख कर लेता है. इन्तेहा तब हो जाती है, जब ऐसी फिल्मों का तूफ़ान गुज़र जाने के बाद भी, उनके बारे में लिखते वक़्त हमें उस मंज़र को दोबारा याद करना पड़ता है. खैर, ये तो अपनी ही चुनी राह है, तो शिकायत क्यूँ?

‘अकीरा’ देखने-सुनने से आपको महिलाओं के सशक्तिकरण के हक में आवाज़ उठाने वाली एक अलग फिल्म ज़रूर लग रही होगी, और लगती भी है खासकर फिल्म के पहले 10 मिनट में, जब महिलाओं पर होने वाले ‘एसिड अटैक’ जैसे घिनौने अपराधों का सहारा लेकर फिल्म लड़कियों को आत्म-रक्षा के लिए तैयार रहने की सीख देती है. पर, जल्द ही ये सारा माहौल बदलने लगता है और पूरे का पूरा ध्यान गिनती के चार भ्रष्ट पुलिस वालों के खिलाफ एक तेज़-तर्रार लड़की के संघर्ष पर केन्द्रित हो जाता है. गोविन्द राणे [अनुराग कश्यप] की अगुवाई में चार पुलिसवाले एक एक्सीडेंट के दौरान क्षतिग्रस्त कार की डिग्गी से करोड़ो रूपये उड़ा लेते हैं. गोविन्द के जुल्मों से आजिज़ एक सेक्स-वर्कर गोविन्द के इस इकबालिया बयान की विडियो बना लेती है, पर उसका फायदा उठाने से पहले ही विडियो कैमरा एक कैफ़े से चोरी हो जाता है. शक कुछ स्टूडेंट्स पर जाता है, जो पास के ही हॉस्टल में रहते हैं. उसी हॉस्टल की एक स्टूडेंट है अकीरा [सोनाक्षी सिन्हा], निडर, लड़ाकू और दबंग.

‘अकीरा’ एक दोयम दर्जे की राइटिंग की शिकार फिल्म है, जहां थ्रिलर के नाम पर कुछ भी उल-जलूल पेश किया जाता है, और जिसकी भनक आपको बहुत पहले ही लग जाती है. एक तरफ तो जहां फिल्म अकीरा के बेख़ौफ़ किरदार के साथ कुछ नया पेश करने का ज़ज्बा दिखाती है, वहीँ पुराने ढर्रे की कहानी और कहानी कहने के तरीके में नयापन न ढूंढ पाने की वजह से बहुत ही आलसी और थकी हुई नज़र आती है. ये वो फिल्म है जो सत्तर या अस्सी के दशक से अब तक कोमा में थी, और जहां अब भी दुश्मनों से निपटने के लिए उन्हें ‘पागलखाने’ भेज दिया जाता है. यहाँ मानसिक रोगियों को ‘पागल’ दिखाने और बोलने में किसी को कोई गुरेज़ या झिझक नहीं होती. यहाँ अब भी हर मनोरोगी का इलाज़ बिजली के झटके और इंजेक्शन ही होते हैं. फिल्म एक हिस्से में बालाजी टेलीफिल्म के धारावाहिकों से भी प्रेरित लगती है, जब नए ज़माने की बहू अपनी सास को पहली बार देखती है और दौड़ कर उसके पैरों के पास से बच्चे के खिलौने उठाने लगती है. सास को लगता है, वो पैर छूने आई थी. बेटे के चेहरे पर कोई भाव नहीं हैं.

‘अकीरा’ दर्शक के तौर पर आपकी मानसिक क्षमता को कमतर आंकने का दुस्साहस बार-बार करती है. हर छोटी से छोटी बात को तसल्ली से बयान करने में इतना उलझी रहती है कि अपने ढाई घंटे के पूरे वक़्त में ज्यादातर बेमतलब और वाहियात ही लगती है. फिल्म के चंद गिने-चुने मजेदार पल अनुराग कश्यप को देखते हुए बीतते हैं, जहां उनका मजे ले-लेकर अभिनय करना, उनके किरदार के कमीनेपन पर भारी पड़ता रहता है. आखिर के दृश्य में, ये बावलापन और भी बढ़ कर गुदगुदाता है. ईमानदार और चौकस गर्भवती पुलिस अफसर की भूमिका में कोंकना सेन शर्मा पूरी फिल्म में अलग-थलग सी पड़ी रहती हैं. उनका फिल्म में आना-जाना बड़ी बेतरतीबी से होता है. सोनाक्षी अपनी पिछली फिल्मों से अलग यहाँ पूरी शिद्दत से अपने किरदार में ढली रहने की कोशिश करती हैं. एक्शन दृश्यों में उनका आत्मविश्वास और खुल के सामने आता है.

अंत में, ‘अकीरा’ नारी-शक्ति की जिन उम्मीदों की दुहाई देती है, उन्हें तोड़ने और मिट्टी में मिलाने का सुख भी अपने हिस्से ही रखती है. अकीरा की सारी लड़ाई अपने अस्तित्व तक ही सीमित रख कर, वो भी एक ऐसे घटनाक्रम के ज़रिये जहां उसकी मौजूदगी में न कोई वाजिब वजह हो, न कोई संवेदनशील उद्देश्य, फिल्म अपने औसतपन से ऊपर उठने की कोशिश भी नहीं करती. और नीचे गिराने में रही सही कसर पूरी कर देता है, फिल्म का बहुत ही ठंडा, हल्का और लचीला स्क्रीनप्ले. इसे देखना खुद पर एक मानसिक अत्याचार से कम नहीं! [1/5]      

ALL IS WELL: All is rubbish. A total waste! [1/5]

Good news for all the complainants who don’t waste a chance to criticize Bollywood for being irrational, illogical and unreasonable! Here comes a film that does bother to give you enough reasons to explain what’s coming next and why it is there in the film! Even then the film in question ends up being a strong contender of ‘the silliest film of the year’ trophy, I don’t really wonder why. Picture this; an NRI [Abhishek Bachchan] stops at a roadside dhaba on Chandigarh-Solan highway to feed his family a good meal after a much hurried and hassled drive. The man at the counter is charging him some 5 thousand rupees for 4 people’s meal which is not even served or consumed yet. The poor guy doesn’t carry cash. To save him from the embarrassment, the local dancer [She was the reason for the hiked price] offers him a dance with her in exchange. What comes next is the item number by Sonakshi Sinha heavily supported by the Jr Bachchan. C’mon, even a Rakhi Sawant won’t do it for the said amount!

The problem with Umesh Shukla’s ALL IS WELL is its lazy ambition to become another Priyadarshan movie where cartoonish characters will do anything [banging head on the wall, rolling over one and other, slapping each other] to make you laugh and just laugh in every scene; the plot could anytime allow actors to participate in a nonsensical chase and then, end it all in a wedding-mandup where glycerin [the most-overrated chemical to make you look serious actor] will have a separate counter at the food-court. Though the story is not at all bad for a family entertainer, the emotions get silenced by the screeching dialogues and awful performances.

Bhajanlal Bhalla [Rishi Kapoor] runs a bakery that has hardly any incoming income to run the family. In fact, it is more of a bone of contention between him and his wife [Supriya Pathak Kapoor]. The son Inder [Abhishek Bachchan] fed up of the regular domestic verbal clash has moved abroad to make it big in his singing career. He’s back after some 10 years and the catch is the money he could get to finance his first album by selling the bakery. Sounds simple? Wait, we’ll make it as twisted as any Priyadarshan movie. Add a local slapstick gangster [Mohammad Zeeshan Ayyub] & cops will come by design, a secret box of good fortune to run after and a powerful lady with her army [Seema Pahwa with complementary Bugs Bunny teeth] will definitely be coming into scene and lastly, our heroine who’s all set to give her Shaadi a miss ‘cause she loves someone else. Enough to complicate!

For an Alzheimer patient, a doctor suggests, “Inko jitna khush rakh sakte ho, rakho!’ Isn’t it a ‘prescription for all’ statement? The female protagonist [Asin] believes in the signs from the universe so much that you would pick up an orange over an apple from the fruit basket and she might tell you she had saved it for her would-be-husband and now, you have to marry her. ALL IS WELL is full of such irritating, intimidating [to make you leave the theatre] and disgusting elements but what hurts you the most is watching talent like Supriya Pathak Kapoor being wasted utterly. Smriti Irani was cast in the same role earlier. I am not sure at what circumstances Supriyaji accepted the role but it is never to match her caliber. All the stars in the rating given to the film in this review must go to her as the compensatory allowance. Mohammad Zeeshan Ayyub is the only one who looks constantly trying to make it work. Rests all are either average or forgettable.

Overall, Umesh Shukla of OMG-OH! MY GOD fame fails miserably to impress. He was probably too confident to see the film’s flaws. With no offence or any disrespect to Alzheimer patients, I think sometimes you need a serious illness to forget something bad happened to you in life. ALL IS WELL takes you in that unfortunate mental zone. Save yourself, if you can! [1/5]  

TEVAR: Stinking old, rotten & formulaic! ‘Manoj-Arjun’ does the repair! [2/5]

Remaking an 11-year old Telugu super hit doesn’t really sound a bad idea at first, as masala entertainers are the safest option in Bollywood to hit the jackpot of the 100 Cr club. First timers Sanjay Kapoor [being the producer] & Amit Ravindernath Sharma [the admaker takes a leap by directing a full-fledged feature film] try the same with showing their jam-packed confidence in family-boy Arjun Kapoor and the adeptly assured actor-performer Manoj Bajpayee in a negative role. Still, TEVAR suffers the stinks of being old, rotten and formulaic, mostly and mainly at the plot part.

In the murderous land of Northern Uttar Pradesh; where power rules and male-chauvinism takes hold of the dice in the game, you don’t really meet a Pintu Shukla [Arjun Kapoor] very often. Though he is a Salman Khan fan and wears same attitude as well and effortless as his trademark aviator shades, he can also be seen harassing an eve-teaser for giving him back what he was doing to a teenage girl, moments ago. He also cares for the girl’s presence while mouthing not-so-smooth verbal expressions. Now, that’s rare. Rare for a Bollywood movie which also could have Salman in the place! I wished it to have more of such attitude!

The drama soars high when a bigheaded, haughty and powerful scandalous brother [Manoj Bajpayee] of an influential politician starts feeling for a local girl doing her obvious best like dancing and attending drama classes. Who else but Sonakshi in real, and in reel? Pintu accidently crosses the path, beats the villain, meets the girl and takes it as a mission to save the girl from the lecherous. Don’t allow me to judge your intelligence about what comes next and in the finale! And it all happens with a plentiful of high-octane action and songs of every kind, alternatively and frequently.

The part where Amit Ravindernath Sharma scores big is the treatment, authenticity of the locations, characters that can easily charm the audience in mass and drama that never actually lacks the punch. He is confident for sure but it hurts to see such talent trembling all over a plot which could have been best in the year of 2005 but never a promising in 2015. Arjun Kapoor’s energy never runs out of charge. He CAN be as charismatic as Salman. He CAN beat the goons too, at beats. He CAN also lip smoothly the most absurdly written dialogues using slangs of male-organs. Only if the script had provided him more space and viewers some kind of novelty to stick around, it would have been a pleasant surprise!

Though not in full form; Manoj Bajpayee does his part well in the most theatrical manner. He successfully uses his corrupt, sinning and wicked eyes for the most. Don’t expect a GANGS OF WASSEYPUR from him but he’s better than the repetitive Prakash Raj any day. Sonakshi does what she’s been doing for ages now, and I really want to write more about her abilities as an actor but then, there is hardly anything new. Raj Babbar, Dipti Naval & Rajesh Sharma don’t disappoint.

With a tiring duration of 2 hour 39 minutes, age-old plot and mindlessly put songs, Amit Ravindernath Sharma’s TEVAR is an average action-entertainer saved hugely by Arjun Kapoor’s earnest & energetic performance and Manoj Bajpayee’s engagingly villainous character. Watch it if you are a fan of both, though it is not their best at all! [2/5] 

ACTION JACKSON: Torture has a new name! Don’t take the risk! [1/5]

India is a land where superstitions are the most fertile substance, that too without having much substance. Ranging from the black cat crossing your path to someone sneezing at you while you’re making your best move; superstitions don’t demand much but quite a few non-rational minds with blind-faith. Add a new count to the list. If you are a girl tagged as ‘unlucky’ by your friends and have same amount of common sense as Sonakshi flaunts in the film, here is the good news. Seeing someone special [Ajay Devgn in this case] in his undies could get you promotions in your job or you might also win a jackpot at your nearest mega mart. I wish making audience feel the same would have been so easy for Prabhudheva!

Prabhudheva’s latest brainless entertainer ACTION JACKSON is a terribly torturous exercise not only to watch it as a viewer but also to recollect and reconcile it on paper as a film reviewer. Trust me, I could go and copy paragraphs from my earlier reviews of such mindless 100 Cr club entries to paste it here and you would never notice a thing. But then, I am no Prabhudheva myself. There’s nothing called story in this weirdly comic and miserably painful action drama as such; still, I would try my best to make you understand how difficult and excruciating it could get to sit through.

Ajay Devgn plays a good-hearted gunda who can intimidate a school principal for not giving admission to a street-vendor’s son just because the father is an illiterate. So what if while doing such good social work with help of the shining dagger in his hands, he forgets that the kid is there in the frame too, probably having wrong impressions about which career is the most considerable and dependable of the both. Sonakshi plays you know what. She has been playing this role for the nth time now and is still, very far from mastering it. Kunaal Roy Kapoor of ‘DELHI BELLY’ enters the Limca Book of worst Records for making a mark in slap-stick comedies. He gets slapped non-stop in every scene he makes appearance in to bring some smile on your face. Acting is a painful process for many, I guess!

And then; in the midst of so many disappointments, shines and rises the Femina Miss India 2010 Manasvi Mamgain making her debut as the bad girl Marina. She carries her promise at the pageant to empower women in India by playing a tough and determined girl who intrepidly dares the machoman Ajay Devgn in the film with, “Mujhe jo cheej pasand aa jaaye, wo meri ho jaati”. Bravo, for beating all the Gulshan Grovers & Prem Chopras of Bollywood!

Overall, ACTION JACKSON is filled with gravity-defying action sequences, absurdly placed dance numbers, comedy that hardly tickles any bone and a lot of ear-deafening sound effects. The plot gets thicken only at the time of interval when the twist gets unraveled. And it works, especially to make you convinced about not leaving the film in the interval only. Mission successful! You are fooled, again. Like said in the first para, India is a land of superstitions. Blending hysterical hammering action, bizarrely non-sense comedy and rude romance with added star-value would make a complete entertainer, is another myth. Don’t trust. Stay away! [1/5]  

HOLIDAY: Think twice! Entertainment is off duty! [2/5]

It is quite hard to decide what is more exasperating in A R Murugadoss’ HOLIDAY- A Soldier Is Never Off Duty, the distasteful-impolite & offensive exposé of modern Indian women or the overenthusiastically proud praise of Indian Army? The leading lady here [Ms ‘100 Cr’ Sinha] is apparently a new-age rebellious daughter who could give serious threat to the mother and slap hard to her father if asked to do something not of her interest. Meanwhile, she’s also dumb as a doll to decide getting married instantly whoever comes in way as guys with sharp brain & good looks are vanishing fast from earth. Right!

And now the driving force; if not busy in trying to fulfill his lady’s wish to perform a kiss [???] or shaking his legs too often, the soldier never off duty [the ageing Akshay Kumar] constantly gets into a preachy mode to justify and establish how and why the Indian Army men are better & more dependable for country’s security than police and civilians. Yeah! Right!!

HOLIDAY- a remake of Murugdoss’s Tamil superhit THUPPAKKI is not a bad film at all as it has all the possible & potential ‘masalas’ for a ‘dhansu’ action entertainer. A hero who’s always a step ahead of villain’s deadly plans of mass-destruction, a heroine who’s ever ready to step in to the dancing shoes, non-stop action, solid dialoguebaazi but what it lacks is the sense of being and belonging. Though I know this is not a kind one should look out for much reasoning but the common sense not to be found even in traces is rather hurtful.

Film sustains and succeeds in introducing the concept of ‘sleeper-cells’ in India but sadly it is presented more of as a plain verbal threat and no inside out hard-hitting visuals to support the premise. I wish it could have explored the functioning of this dreadful modus oparandi of terrorism rather than just focusing on one man behind all this especially when you aren’t equipped with an impressive antagonist. Though he has the built and basics of a good baddie, Freddy Daruwala as the brainy guy behind terrific act of terrorism looks more like a sidekick to Vidyut Jamwal who had played the same role in the original. Govinda makes a short & sweet special appearance but looks completely off sync. He sure deserves better roles to justify his age and caliber. Sumeet Raghvan is some relief.

On the whole; with a nearly 3 hours of duration, this ‘trying to be smarter than the smartest’ thriller-cum-entertainer is like a dull, boring and extended holiday trip where you don’t really have much to explore and sight-see but the luxury and comfort of a premium hotel. Just fall in the bed, sleep, eat, sleep again and come back with a promise never to be back in the same territory again. Hope Akshay could hear this out! [2/5]

R…RAJKUMAR: The Worst Mash-up of Action, Emotion & Drama! Southern curry turns sour & tasteless!! [1.5/5]

Try to visualize 12 minutes of bone cracking- neck breaking fight stunts, 10 minutes of absurdly insensitive & irksome concept of romance where the boy does nothing but stalking the girl and 3-4 minutes of bum shaking- chest popping dance sequences filled with pelvic movements & blended in with equally annoying lyrics with no sense or sensibility! It is not hard I guess, since we all have seen such formula lately in many 100 Cr club entries. Now, multiply this whole formula with 5, add some credit rolls in the opening & closing and whatever filth/waste you will take home is nothing but Prabhu Dheva’s southern curry & sheer stupidity in the name of mass entertainment called ‘R…RAJKUMAR’!  

‘R…RAJKUMAR’ is the worst mash-up of all the ingredients required for a blockbuster. It has action, it has drama and it has humor but lacks a good punch in the storyline and the much-needed smart & skilled expert hands to mix it well. The wafer-thin story doesn’t give much scope to shock & surprise you in every sense. Romeo Rajkumar [Shahid Kapoor’s first & the most commercial attempt to set the box-office ringing], a fearless rowdy working as the most promising sidekick to Shivraj [Sonu Sood in an equal share of screen presence] falls in love at the first sight with Chanda [Sonakshi gets repetitive in her typical ‘Dabangg’ avatar]. Game Changes when Shivraj’s lust for Chanda forces Rajkumar to stand against his powerful master.

Film doesn’t bother to show any kind of involvement of intelligence, sensibility or respect, neither in writing nor in performances. Characters mouth dialogues that start & end with harsh addressing sounds and with very little hints of logics! Women here are just a material to own at any cost and even thrown in the pool of gaming as the winner’s trophy. In performances, Shahid shows off his upper hand in highly flexible moves for action & dance. Sonu also succeeds in flaunting his well-built muscles and in some of the comic scenes. Sonakshi should really need to work on her priorities in choosing roles. I fear if this would land her in the league of forgetful actors. In others; from Ashish Vidyarthi to Asrani, everyone else is as loud as they could be. Notice if you can, Bharat Dabholkar wearing Merlyn Monroe printed Ties whenever he appears on the screen and that could add some joy to feel in the wasteland of tasteless entertainment.        

In the very climax, Shivraj beats & thrashes Rajkumar his guts out with metal rods, wooden furniture and anything that comes in way! Our Romeo Rajkumar as he is supposed to be in deep love; feels no pain or hurting…so do we but because of the beatings and bashings we have been experiencing since the very start to become numb till the time, to any kind of brutality.  

In other words or in better words if I choose to describe Prabhu Dheva’s  ‘R…RAJKUMAR’, it would end up sounding like bam…bang…bash…biff…buff…bong…bonk…bop…clang…clank…crash…dong…fash…pock…plunk…shoop…shwap…swoosh…snap…slap…splat…throb…thud…thump…thung…thunk…tup…whack…wham…whop…whump and zlopp! This weekend, be blessed-be safe-stay at home! [1.5/5]

BULLETT RAJA: Commercial, predictable & average action thriller! Witty one-liners make it Watchable! [2.5]

Names suggest. Names carry perceptions. So whenever you hear ‘Tigmanshu Dhulia’, you expect razor-sharp story-telling [PAAN SINGH TOMAR], utter participation of passion mixed with art [SAAHEB, BIWI AUR GANGSTER] or if nothing else, earnestness shining in the framework for sure [HAASIL]. Intentionally or involuntarily; sounding as if another south action entertainer dubbed in Hindi, Dhulia’s ‘BULLETT RAJA’ has flares of all these but overshadowed & eclipsed heavily by added star value, superficial style & an undeclared delusion in one’s head to be in the sheep-race of 100 Cr club.

Uttar Pradesh- the terra firma of filthy politics, gory goonism, and caste-driven social establishment is the place where ‘BULLETT RAJA’ fits the most. With serenely ferocious Rudra [Played by confident Jimmy Shergill] joined at the hip, fearlessly rowdy Raja [Saif in a comfortable zone] is nothing but a political commando rising and shining under the most powerful politician played by Raj Babbar. Situation goes upside down when the grimy game of power & control gifts back Raja an unbearable loss of his lifetime to flame the anger of vengeance that would blaze the whole of enterprise behind.

A story weakened by confusing screenplay, shabby-unimpressive-infuriating work in the music department & a bad hand in editing were enough to mess up all the reputation Dhulia has earned until comes to rescue the writing, giving plenty of smart & quirky one-liners that hold your interest throughout. Hear this, when villainous Chunky Pandey narrates a mythological incident about Lord Brahma using some foul words [in smartly muted sound], Raja blasts him with bullets saying, “Dharmik mamlon mein hum ashleelta bardasht nahin karte!” Writing also celebrates the emotions one carries for his caste. Playing a Brahmin by caste, Saif will be seen mouthing arrogance profoundly in most of his lines e.g. “Brahmin bhookha toh sudama, rootha toh raavan” or “Brahmin hoon, janam se samajh ke aaya hoon”. Enjoyable & entertaining!

Performances are strictly average and there is nothing that could compel you for a jaw-drop response. Though Jimmy Shergill impresses in the first half and his equation with Saif creates a pleasant sight for eyes & most of the enjoyable moments. Vidyut Jammwal enters the scene after interval and his sequences don’t look more than his acting or rather action showreel. I would love to see him in a meatier role. Sonakshi disappoints the most. This one is a complete superfluous role for her in all these years. There is a hotel scene where Jimmy decides to lock himself in an adjacent room to give Saif & Sonakshi their own space and she is so unwanted that you don’t really want it to happen. Gladly, Saif doesn’t make you feel so and takes you through this partly intriguing action thriller relentlessly.

‘BULLETT RAJA’ is enjoyable in parts and watchable only for its harsh but satirical take on various political & social scenarios mainly in Uttar Pradesh. Dhulia shows his skill to extract raw humor soaked in an unsympathetic rustic feel with languages spoken physically and verbally both. Be attentive with what one-liner will come next from any of the characters and you might experience some good laugh. Overall, it is a revenge drama that is commercial, predictable and targeted only to create some buzz at the box-office, something that is never expected from Tigmanshu Dhulia![2.5/5]    

BOSS: Another milestone in senseless action-comedy aimed to touch 100 Cr mark! [2/5]

First rejoinder:

I don’t recall when was the last time I wanted to cheer for the villain beating the hero to his guts out till I sensed myself ready to whistle for Ronit Roy in his final collision with Akshay Kumar in Anthony D’Souza’s BOSS. Reasons could range from my fondness for the prior [Thanks to Motwane’s UDAAN] to his completely black yet the most consistent performance in the film or it could also be my ‘controlled till now’ patience blasting and demanding nothing but someone from the cast taking a stand and whipping-thrashing & battering the character of Akshay Kumar for all the mindless action he does in the film. For me, the performance of DCP Ayushman Thakur played by Ronit Roy is my takeaway from the film! Rest is forgettable!

What is it?

Exactly. What was it? at the most, plot could be described best as a distant relative of all the recent mindless potboilers including Akshay Kumar’s own Rowdy Rathore, Khiladi 786 and hundreds of late 80’s Dharmendra/Mithun chakraborty popular action entertainers. No wonder, in the similar manner you see the hero being introduced as ‘in & as’ format only after 30 odd minutes in the film followed by opening titles in another 10-12 mins after.

Surya- the black sheep in the family of ‘adarshwadi Masterji’ of Banares [played by Mithun Chakraborty], is now in safe but dirty hands of Crime-syndicate Tauji of Haryana [Danny Dangzopa]. 15 years later, Surya [the one & only Akshay Kumar] emerges into a self-loved transporter who bashes up all the goons to save poor villagers but ironically also wears the hat of a money-driven contract killer. In one alike situation, he’s given instructions to kill none other than his younger brother. Shockingly, father also doesn’t have much option left than dragging his abandoned son into this with his powers to save the kid and thus starts the final journey to a picture-perfect happy ending sans my favorite villainous brother of the bride J

How is it?

Films like BOSS are made to run on the star-power, so it is all the way an Akshay Kumar film. You don’t really have to use your mental muscles to imagine in what manner the action, jokes or for that matter even the songs would shape up. Performances are loud, regular and totally in sync with the likings of its targeted audience. Only exception is Ronit Roy as the cold-blooded, merciless, power-driven lawman of his own set of laws. In one scene, when Akshay the Boss is seen jogging/jumping on the trucks [mind you, it’s not the regular track but a chain of trucks] while his first face-off to Ronit- the DCP, you can easily make a distinction between their intensity in the performance! At 2 hour 30 min long duration, it serves you ‘baasi’ ingredients in the name of entertainment.

Who should go?

Watch it if you are an Akshay Kumar fan. Watch it if you already have learnt the lyrics of the ‘yo yo honey singh’ songs in the film by heart. Watch it if Mithun Chakraborty was your first super-hero in Bollywood. Watch it if your mind-heart-soul still adore late 80’s formula action thrillers.

Who should stay away?

If you think Bollywood is changed! If you think entertainment doesn’t have to be formulaic! If you love Indie Cinema more than regular releases! If you believe cinema is a sensitive art form! If you still are reading my review!

Final outcome:

A Presentation of ‘Cape of Good Films’ [really??] Anthony D’Souza’s BOSS is another milestone in senseless action-comedy aimed to touch 100 Cr mark. I don’t see any hurdle in that because as the character of Akshay kumar would have said in his Haryanvi, if asked “apne ko kya hai, apne ko toh bass paisa bahana hai”! [2/5]    

ONCE UPON Ay TIME IN MUMBAAI DOBAARA: Stay away from this ‘all talk-no action’ bogus entertainer! [1.5/5]

Glamorizing evil and bad is not a new recipe to success in Bollywood. It has done wonders in past for superstars like Shah Rukh Khan & Sanjay Dutt but gambling totally on the same doesn’t solve the purpose unless you have a solid story line, fool-proof fail-safe screenplay and if not mightier than the bad, sure equally influential character of good merits who can rise from the downhill and surprise you in the final combat of good & bad […the best example I could remember is Aamir & Sharat Saxena’s final face-off in Ghulam], sadly and in the most disappointing way, Milan Lutharia’s ONCE UPON Ay TIME IN MUMBAAI DOBAARA lacks all except the style quotient.

First and foremost, where the prequel to same […Ajay Devgn-Emran Hashmi starrer OUATIM] was partly based on true incidents, taking cues from life & times of Haji Mustan and the momentous rise of Dawood on the map of Mumbai underworld, this sequel slips off conveniently into a fictional love-triangle. Akshaye Kumar gets into the shoes of Shoaib [played earlier by Emraan Hashmi] to create the most-stylish, charming yet menace bad guy that manages to take away all the claps & whistles with his presence on screen. He is the uncrowned man behind all the illegal businesses including cricket match-fixing. He gets what he wants by all means, be it the lady sitting on his next in the stadium. He literally can buy you an award that you aren’t even nominated for. Sonakshi Sinha plays a starlet […on the similar lines of yesteryear’s sex-siren Mandakini] who dreams to achieve big but not at the cost of everything. Imran Khan is a side-kick to Shoaib who unlike his mentor-cum-idol-cum-boss, thinks from heart rather than going with decisions that mind suggests. Rest you can guess, as it is a Bollywood love-triangle!

Of the crew, Rajat Aroraa- the man who penned the success-story of OUATIM and THE DIRTY PICTURE carries forward his trademark writing with punches possibly in every line. So, this 2 hour 40 min long power play of the good, the bad and the beauty is filled with cheesy one liners like ‘naam bata diya toh meri pehchaan bura maan jaayegi’ ‘itne saalon mein Mumbai badal gayi thi, kumkum se kimi kaatkar ho gayi thi’ ‘doodh mein jisne pehle nimbu nichoda, paneer uska’. Honestly, some really work. Most don’t. But that is not the one flaw that makes it an unbearable watch. Storyline that takes off with a power packed establishment of Shoaib’s character in the first half, looses its grip soon after introducing the love-angle and later when melodrama takes over the charge. Boredom is guaranteed in those precious minutes. Imran is sure a misfit as a tapori- mumbaiya. Sonakshi looks great in most but I would like to keep my lips sealed if asked about her performance.

There’s a scene where Imran teaches Sonakshi how to speak English and mistakenly he translates her intermediate [10+2] education as ‘Intercourse’, now if you find it a reason to chuckle or laugh, I suggest you go see some psychiatrist as soon as you finish it reading…and shockingly that sad joke goes on and one for like 3-4 scenes. To add up, I don’t why everyone including Sonali Bendre who makes an appearance in an insignificant- half baked subplot pronounces ‘Shoaib’ as ‘shoheb’. Sounds disgusting…really!

& for the makers and the director, I would like to suggest that, “agar aap aisi hi betuki bakwaas filmein banaate rahenge, audience ek na ek din jaroor bura maan jaayegi”! Overall, this sequel of high expectations sweats out to encash the success of the prequel but just finishes as an ‘all talk-no action’ bogus entertainer! Stay away!! [1.5/5]

LOOTERA: old-school romance retold-redefined in the finest form of cinema!

Move over instant love, experience intense love! Vikramaditya Motwane’s love saga LOOTERA is an old-school romance [all those Dev Anand classics if you remember] retold-redefined in the finest & superlative form of cinema. It’s pure, unadulterated and subtly mesmerizing in its each frame with an everlasting depth of emotions we naively have lost somewhere in today’s ‘where the hell are we going so fast’ way of life. So, it’s time to rediscover priceless moments of love, heartbreak, longing and redemption deep down within our ‘still very much alive’ hearts.

A heartfelt story inspired by O. Henry’s THE LAST LEAF, smoothly & unhesitantly transports you in times of 1950’s where vintage cars, regal mansions and zameendars in fears of ‘soon to be taken care of’ by the government of India come involuntarily in picture, in any given scenario. Varun- a swindler disguised as an archaeologist enters into vivaciously alive Pakhi’s life only to fall in love but with no fortitude to pursue it further and returns back in his dark galore of crime after blatantly shattering Pakhi’s world. The fate brings them together again, now in the turmoil of more harsh emotions like retribution & redemption. 

With Mahendra Shetty’s charismatically painted-tainted-printed perfect picture frames, a thoroughly meticulous Art Direction, well-researched costume design, and spellbound performances that leave you speechless, this modern masterpiece is worth every penny you spend in the name of cinema. Sonakshi surprises you the most and come out as a winner all the way so does Ranveer. Great to find that the actor in question could really pull out in every situation he’s put into. Character artistes [Aadil Hussain as inspector K N Singh and the actor playing Pakhi’s Father] are also a reason to hold your interest intact while experiencing this picturesque & poetic journey of love.

But this writing-work will never get its dues if I can’t have praises for the captain of ship Mr. Motwane. In his directorial debut UDAAN, we all might have missed his simply understated finesse of art & craft because of revelation that it came with such beautiful story with unheard unseen before emotions but this time with LOOTERA, he doesn’t leave any stone unturned, any effort undone that has even a bare minimum chance to doubt on the filmmaker’s sense, sensibility and sensitivity. If UDAAN pronounced him Bollywood’s one of the finest storyteller, LOOTERA crowns him as the most evolved filmmaker, to my surprise in his only second venture.

Having stated that, I can not miss my warning that if you like to visit Cinemas only for a full-on entertainers having slapstick comedies, popular item numbers and nonsense action, this is strictly not yours type. It takes its time to grow on you, like love does in most cases and also it doesn’t always speak in words but emotions flow all over on this grand canvas of cinematic excellence. Experience it. [4/5]