फ़ुकरे रिटर्न्स: व्हाट द फ़* रे! [1.5/5]

4 साल बहुत होते हैं बनने-बिगड़ने के लिए. 2013 में मृगदीप सिंह लाम्बा की 'फुकरे' ने दिल्ली के ख़ालिस लापरवाह लौंडों, उनकी छोटी-छोटी तिकड़मों और उनके बेबाक 'दिल्ली-पने' से आपको खूब गुदगुदाया होगा, तब उंगलियाँ नर्म थीं उनकी, चेहरे मासूम और कोशिशें ईमानदार. 4 साल बाद, 'फुकरे रिटर्न्स' में गुदगुदाने की कोशिश करने वाली वही उंगलियाँ अब चुभने लगी हैं. कोशिशें औंधें मुंह गिर पड़ती हैं और फिल्म में मासूमियत की जगह अब भौंडेपन ने ले ली है. नंगे पिछवाड़ों पर सांप डंस रहे हैं, और किरदार चूस-चूस कर उनका ज़हर निकाल रहे हैं. ऐसे दृश्य 'ग्रेट ग्रैंड मस्ती' जैसों में तो बड़ी बेशर्मी से फिट हो ही जाते हैं, यहाँ क्या कर रहे हैं? समझ से परे है. गनीमत की बात सिर्फ इतनी है कि चूचा (वरुण शर्मा) तनिक भी बड़ा नहीं हुआ, और तब पंडित जी का छोटा सा किरदार करने वाले, पंकज त्रिपाठी की पहचान कलाकार के तौर पर अब अच्छी खासी बड़ी हो गयी है. इन दोनों के ही भरोसे फिल्म जितनी भी देर झेली जा सकती है, झेली जाती है.

बेईमान मंत्री बाबूलाल (राजीव गुप्ता) की मदद से भोली पंजाबन (रिचा चड्ढा) जेल से बाहर आ गयी है, और अब फुकरों की टोली से अपनी आज़ादी के लिए खर्च किये पैसों की भरपाई उनसे चाहती है. प्लान वही है, चूचा सपने देखेगा और हन्नी (पुलकित सम्राट) उसके सपने से लॉटरी का नंबर निकालेगा. ज़फर (अली फज़ल) और लाली (मनजोत सिंह) भी रहेंगे, पर क्यों? न कहानी में इसकी कोई बहुत ख़ास वजह मिलती है, ना ही फिल्म में. बहरहाल, प्लान फेल हो जाता है, ठीक वैसे ही जैसे फिल्म के बहुत सारे दोहराव वाले जोक्स. खैर, मदद को इस बार चूचे का एक नया टैलेंट सामने आता है. उसे भविष्य दिखाई देने लगा है. एक गुफ़ा, एक टाइगर, उसका बच्चा, दो राक्षस और एक गुप्त खज़ाना.

जहाँ अपनी पहली फिल्म में, मृगदीप कहानी में हास्य पिरोने का सफल प्रयोग करते हुए दिखाई दिये थे, 'फुकरे रिटर्न्स' में हास्य के अन्दर कहानी डालने की नाकाम कोशिशें करते हैं, और लगातार करते रहते हैं. बीफ़ बैन, इंडिया गेट पर योग करते राजनेता, जानवरों और अंगों की तस्करी जैसे मुद्दों का भी इस्तेमाल करते हैं, पर आखिर में एक काबिल और भरोसेमंद कहानी का अभाव इन सारी कोशिशों को मटियामेट कर देता है. इस बात का अंदाजा आप इसी से लगा सकते हैं कि फिल्म के सबसे मनोरंजक दृश्यों में ज्यादातर फिल्म के सह-कलाकारों के हिस्से आये दृश्य ही शामिल हैं. यमुना नदी के काले गंदे पानी में डुबकी मार कर सिक्के बटोरने वाला आदमी हो, या भोली पंजाबन के बेरोजगार, लाचार, हिंदी बोलने वाले अफ़्रीकी गुर्गे. इनकी संगत और रंगत में आपको ज्यादा मज़ा आता है. 

अली फज़ल को फिल्म में यूँ खर्च होते देखना खलता है. पूरी फिल्म में वो जैसे 'फुकरे' करने का खामियाज़ा भुगत रहे हों. फिल्म की पटकथा मनजोत के साथ भी ऐसी ही कुछ नाइंसाफी बरतती है. पुलकित सम्राट अपनी पिछली कुछ फिल्मों से बेहतर नज़र आते हैं. मुंहफट, लड़ाकू, खूंखार भोली पंजाबन की भूमिका में रिचा चड्ढा इस बार थोड़ी कमज़ोर दिखती हैं. ऐसा इसलिए भी मुमकिन है क्योंकि फिल्म उनके किरदार से कॉमेडी की उम्मीदें लगा बैठती है. आखिर में, बच-बचा के वरुण शर्मा और पंकज त्रिपाठी ही रह जाते हैं. पंकज अपनी चिर-परिचित भाव-भंगिमाओं से ही दर्शकों के चेहरे पर मुस्कान ले आते हैं, ऊपर से हर संवाद के बाद उनका एक 'फाइनल कमेंट'. इस एक अदाकार को आप घंटों एकटक देख सकते हैं, और बोर नहीं होंगे. वरुण के अभिनय की मासूमियत भी कुछ ऐसी ही है, लेकिन उनका अपने आप को बार-बार दोहराना थोड़ा निराश करता है. वरना तो 'फुकरे रिटर्न्स' के असली फुकरे वही हैं. 

अंत में; लाम्बा ने यमुना पार की तंग गलियों से लेकर गुडगाँव की रेव पार्टियों तक का जिक्र और इत्र जिस चालाकी से 'फुकरे' में पेश किया था, 'फुकरे रिटर्न्स' सतही तौर ही दिल्ली को फिल्म में ढाल पाती है. गौर करने वाली एक नयी बात सिर्फ इतनी सी है कि दिल्ली का मुख्यमंत्री 'स्कैम'-विरोधी है, पैंट-शर्ट पहनता है और सिर्फ एक फ़ोन पर किसी से भी मिल सकता है. काश, फिल्म थोड़ी और दिल्ली की हो पाती, और अपने आपको कम दोहराती! [1.5/5]

BANGISTAN: Satire turns sad, silly and superficial! [1.5/5]

Handling satire on current social, political and religious sentiments is never an easy job, at least not as easy as reviewing (bashing; in other word) other’s films. With BANGISTAN, noted film critic Karan Anshuman sneaks into the other side of the business now where he’s all open to face the shots he’s been taking at till now. And I stand in full salutation for him choosing a subject which is more than relevant in today’s times. We desperately need to develop our abilities to laugh at some of the most serious issues in our lives. Satires act like catalysts in trial of that exercise. Sadly, BANGISTAN promises a lot on that front but misses the target by large. Some serious smart writing, sincere efforts and unambiguous intention are all you need and not a buffoonery plot, chaotic climax and pretentious performances to save the day. Here Mr Critic disregards what he’s been preaching all his life.

The film finds its base in a fictional land where two religious radical groups are at warfare to gain supremacy. You don’t need those visible hints to guess that we are looking at our popular Hindu-Muslim extremists. Smartly, both the group-heads are being played on screen by the same actor [the dependable Kumud Mishra in double role]. Two sides of the same coin? Get it? Meanwhile, there are Shankaracharya [Shiv Subramanium] and Imam Saab [Tom Alter] secretly working towards peace, love and harmony between the two communities. Now, the radicals are planning to make a big shout at the international religious summit to be held in somewhere in Poland. The hardcore halfwits chosen to bomb the Peace convention are Praveen Chaturvedi [Pulkit Samrat] and Hafiz Bin Ali [Riteish Deshmukh].

BANGISTAN starts with a bang and showers hints of satire in almost every scene, dialogue and frame but runs out of impressive ideas and additions soon after the successful take-off. The Islamic extremists are seen cursing America’s policies against them sitting in an American fast food joint named FcDonalds. Well and good! The two chosen activists with switched religious identities and orientations for a fool-proof operation fights for each-other’s religious convictions is too quite exciting but soon, it gets stretched over its limits. And then comes, the all preachy, pretentious and predictable climax where all this ‘laugh and think, and laugh again’ satirical efforts ends in the melodramatic way of finishing it off so that you can go home and not die there.

Another big letdowns are the performances; Riteish Deshmukh is some relief and considerably ‘at it’ for the most parts. Pulkit Samrat doesn’t even try to get out of the impression that he is acting only to impress or imitate Salman Khan. Jacqueline Fernandez is credited here as ‘in a special appearance’ and that doesn’t mean she is doing anything special to the film. Chandan Roy Sanyal is good. Aarya Babbar is funny at places. Veterans Kumud Mishra, Shiv Subramanium and Tom Alter don’t disappoint, though are there only for few scenes.

At best, BANGISTAN is one of those incalculable films in which good cinematography, better production-design and scenic locations lure you to stay idle in your seats till the lights go on. Otherwise; even in its 2 hours of modest duration, there are times when you start questioning your sense of judgment about the film, and not about the extreme religious sentiments the film supposed to hit on. Sad, silly and superficial! [1.5/5] 

DOLLY KI DOLI: An enjoyable ride! Short & sweet!! [2.5/5]

Marriage is a box full of surprises. You never know what comes next and in what shape, each & everyday. Sometimes, you keep waiting for one all your life and it never happens. But few are really the luckiest to have it experienced the very first morning. At least, for the on-screen grooms and their families in Abhishek Dogra’s con-comedy DOLLY KI DOLI!

A fake, cheat and single-minded bride is on loose to con filthy rich grooms. She [Sonam Kapoor, too fragile for a con artist] makes the target fall in love with her, marries him, drugs the whole family on her very last of the ‘first nights’ and runs away with all their shitloads of money and jewellery. In her victims, there is Sonu Sehrawat [Rajkummar Rao] a Haryanvi flashy boy and a desperate mumma’s boy from Delhi [Varun Sharma of FUKREY fame]. Picture this; when they meet each other appreciating the fact that Dolly is the one married to both, Varun asks naively, “bhai, iss hisaab se humara rishta kya hua? (Bro, what kind of relationship we are in now?”. Giggles come with guarantee at such cases and there are many in DOLLY KI DOLI, no doubt on that.

Based on a real chain of events and a crime-story of ‘Looteri Dulhan’ in northern India, Abhishek Dogra’s DOLLY KI DOLI works because of the humor in the script that comes easy like one after the other and the characters who despite being the typical ones, charm you endlessly. Rajkummar Rao is in top form. Watching him dancing like there’s no one to care in an item number with Malaika, is a treat. His Haryanvi is perfectly portrayed and wins your heart by the simplicity in the character and the sincerity in the performance. Sonam plays Dolly with total ease yet she doesn’t look very convincing as a con artiste. Varun is cute, indeed. He, in a sense continues his FUKREY performance. So, if you had liked him earlier, have another slice of the same. Pulkit Samrat as the cop after Dolly’s capture definitely had Salman Khan’s Chulbul Pandey in DABANGG as his acting reference. Taking cues from Salman’s dialogue, “hum yahaan ke robin hood hain”, he even possesses the name Robin.

And then, my favorite track in the film. Mohammed Zeeshan Ayyub [of RAANJHANAA] plays the fake brother to Sonam’s Dolly and at one point; he declines to play her brother anymore as he has romantic feelings for her. This alone has so much potential in creating comedy and drama both. Alas, it wasn’t treated well. Film’s biggest strength is the length. In its crisper than masala papad 107 mins of total duration, film could have been a laugh-riot but it comprises with being just an enjoyable watch; and the culprit here is the uneven screenplay lacking the power to convince. Film hurriedly tries to justify Dolly’s reasons to go for fake marriages after she fails in one. In today’s times, can you imagine a courtship of more than a couple of months and there is no ‘kiss’ happening between the two because of the stupidest of all ‘yeh sab shaadi ke baad’ excuse? All because, we can’t show our bad girl being so bad! Black is here not so dark. I wish writing in Bollywood gets mature soon.

At the end, DOLLY KI DOLI is an enjoyable ride you won’t regret much after leaving theatre. Rajkummar Rao ensures most of it. It’s short & sweet unlike Indian marriages. [2.5/5] 

JAI HO: Prabhu Dheva-meets-Sooraj Barjatya! Being SUPER human-sans-common sense!! [2/5]

Do not dare to complain. You had seen it coming. Didn’t the character of Salman Khan warn you in the promos itself that “Aam Aadmi ek sota hua Sher hai, ungli mat kar…jag gaya toh cheer-phaad dega”? Only problem is that the film in question JAI HO decides to take the same salient statement in a very literal sense and not in what it actually intended to be.

So, this ‘Aam Aadmi’ stands nowhere near the classification of a common man, projected & presented well in recent Delhi state elections. But this common man played by the mass hysteria Salman Khan, largely called as ‘Bhai’ does have an overcrowded family with mother & sister ready to participate wholeheartedly in the proceedings as soft targets of evil forces…and whenever that happens, ‘Bhai’ takes a drastic transformation from ‘Being human’ to ‘Being SUPER human’ with the immense power of an incredible hulk like creature who roars loud to deafen your ears, nails his teeth deep in the veins of his enemies and even goes shirtless to make his fans go wild and frenzy over his gigantic stature.

An official remake of Chiranjeevi Starrer Telugu blockbuster ‘STALIN’, again a inspired version of Hollywood drama PAY IT FORWARD, Sohail Khan’s JAI HO [earlier titled as MENTAL] is a film good at heart because of the social message it carries to help out at least three people instead just saying a ‘thank you’ in return of anyone’s help but turns sore, cliché & tiresome with the route it takes to communicate the same. When it is good, it is as sugary as Sooraj Barjatya’s heavily traditional family entertainers. When it is bad, it is as unendurable as Prabhu Dheva’s mindless action-thrillers. Avid movie-watchers can vouch for the both being a non-entertainer.  

And then the regular dosage of absolutely inane & offensive jokes! Calling names like ‘Chhota Chooha’ when our leading lady sees a bathing kid without clothes and to make it equal, the kid calling her ‘Pinky’ as, in one of her odd days, she somehow authenticates wearing pink colour undergarments, if this is the height of efforts to make us laugh, I refuse and retaliate to be entertained. Trust me; soon you’ll hear these terms in your zone and Mr. Khan will not be there to protect you with his own fans.

JAI HO is one such film where actors on screen for lesser time look less exasperating than others, to earn comparatively less disapproval and more regards for their ‘short & sweet’ performances. You see so much of known faces in every character on screen that if I put their full names in written here, a 1-page review would need at least 20-odd pages of a coffee-table book to fit in and that in case when their performances don’t bring much to say.

Tabu makes a comeback sort and is good to see but definitely deserves better writing support to match her skills. Nadira Babbar is known for her excellence in theatre but as the mother, she only earns yawns here. Pathetic is the word. Daisy Shah doesn’t get much to appreciate than her dancing skills in the introduction scene. One powerhouse of talent is the Child Artist Naman Jain. See his confidence in comic timings to believe.

And now the man himself! Well, Salman is Salman. No one plays him better than he himself. He does things he believes in. His self-indulgence shows on screen and that is what his fans love to watch. Who am I to come between the God and his die-hard followers? All I can say to rest my case is that JAI HO is a confused platter of spicy southern curries with extra-mild Jain recipes. Better avoid ordering! [2/5]