अ फ्लाइंग जट्ट: बे-असरदार सुपरहीरो! [1.5/5]

भारत चमत्कारों का देश है. यहाँ सब भगवान भरोसे होता है. तो एक सुपरहीरो बनने-बनाने में दिमाग या समझदारी का इस्तेमाल करने की जेहमत क्यूँ उठानी? बस एक तूफ़ानी रात, पेड़ पर बना धार्मिक निशान (सिख धर्म का खंडा), बैकग्राउंड में एक जोशीला भक्तिमय गीत और दानव-रुपी खलनायक से लड़ता एक भोला-भाला नौजवान; बॉलीवुड को इससे ज्यादा कुछ और चाहिए ही नहीं. रेमो डी’सूज़ा की ‘अ फ्लाइंग जट्ट’ देखते-देखते अक्सर टुकड़ों में ही सही, 1975 की महान पारिवारिक फिल्म ‘जय संतोषी माँ’’ एक बार फिर दिमागी परदे पर चलने लगती है. मजबूर, लाचार और बेबस की मदद को जहां ईश्वरीय शक्ति हर वक़्त तैयार बैठी रहती है, बस एक भजन भर गाने की देर है. 40 साल बाद भी बॉलीवुड के लिए मनोरंजन के मापदंडों में कहीं कुछ नहीं बदला है.

पंजाब के किसी एक शहर में मल्होत्रा [के के मेनन] प्रदूषण की फैक्ट्री चला रहा है. उसकी तरक्की के रास्ते में रुकावट बन रहा है जमीन का एक छोटा सा टुकड़ा, जहां एक माँ [अमृता सिंह] अपने दो बेटों [टाइगर श्रॉफ, गौरव पांडेय], 40-50 किरायेदारों और एक पवित्र पेड़ के साथ हर शाम 7 बजे व्हिस्की के पैग लगाती पाई जाती है. मुझे यकीन है, उसके पंजाबी होने का अब आपको और कोई सबूत नहीं चाहिए. मल्होत्रा के नापाक इरादों को पूरा करने में उसकी मदद को खड़ा है एक दैत्याकार बाहुबली राका [डब्ल्यू डब्ल्यू ई के नाथन जोंस]. राका के साथ लड़ाई के दौरान ही अमन [टाइगर श्रॉफ] को दैवीय शक्तियां मिल जाती हैं. उसकी माँ और भाई तो ख़ुशी से नाचने ही लगते हैं, जब पता चलता है, अमन के अन्दर चाहे छूरा घोंप दो, तो भी कुछ नहीं होता. दोनों बाकायदा बारी-बारी से उसे चाक़ू मार-मार के तसल्ली भी कर रहे हैं. हालाँकि अमन के लिए सुपरहीरो बनना और भी दुखदायी हो गया है. माँ रोज रात को तैयार करके कहती है, “जा, दुनिया बचा!”.

फिल्म की कहानी को मतलब और मकसद देने के लिए रेमो जिस प्रदूषण और हरियाली के बीच की जंग को मुद्दा बनाकर पेश करते हैं, वो फिल्म के टाइटल सीक्वेंस में बहुत असरदार तरीके से सामने आता है. एक आदमी पेड़ काट रहा है और कैसे उसका ये कदम पूरी दुनिया के साथ-साथ उसकी भी तबाही का कारण बन सकता है, खूबसूरत एनीमेशन के जरिये रेमो अपनी बात चंद मिनटों में ही ख़तम कर देते हैं. पर बात जब इसी को बाकी के ढाई घंटे में बताने की आती है, तो फिल्म उसी कटे पेड़ की तरह एक झटके में ढह जाती है. एक हादसे में राका का ‘प्रदूषण, गन्दगी और धुएं’ से शक्तियां प्राप्त करने वाला दैत्य बन जाना, उसे हराने और मारने के लिए फ्लाइंग जट्ट का उसे लेकर दूसरे ग्रह पे चले जाना, उनका स्पेस में सेटेलाइट्स के बीच लड़ाई करना; फिल्म अपनी बचकानी और वाहियात राइटिंग से आपको परेशान करने लगती है. अफसोस तो ये है कि इसे पूरी तरह बच्चों की फिल्म भी नहीं कहा जा सकता, खासकर उन दृश्यों की वजह से जहां जैकलिन फ़र्नांडिस फ्लाइंग जट्ट से अपनी ज़िन्दगी का ‘फर्स्ट किस’ डिमांड कर रही हैं.

‘अ फ्लाइंग जट्ट’ सिर्फ चार या पांच दृश्यों में देखने लायक फिल्म कही जा सकती है. इनमें से ज्यादातर वो कॉमेडी सीन हैं, जहां सुपरहीरो अमन की टांग-खिंचाई उसकी अपनी ही माँ और भाई के हाथों हो रही होती है. के के मेनन अपने किरदार में इस तरह का पागलपन ‘द्रोणा’ और ‘सिंह इज़ ब्लिंग’ में पहले भी दिखा चुके हैं. अमृता सिंह कहीं-कहीं बहुत बेकाबू हो जाती हैं, पर सब मिला-जुला के अच्छी लगती हैं. सटीक कास्टिंग के साथ, गौरव पाण्डेय टाइगर के भाई की भूमिका में अच्छा खासा प्रभावित करते हैं. एक ही बात समझ नहीं आती, अगर लड़ाई प्रदूषण और पर्यावरण के बीच है तो प्लास्टिक [जैकलिन चाभी वाली गुड़िया से ज्यादा न कुछ और लगती हैं, न करती हैं] और रबर [टाइगर का हर फिल्म में मार्शल आर्ट एक्सपर्ट बनना वैसा ही होता जा रहा है, जैसे निरूपा रॉय का हर फिल्म में अपने बच्चों से बिछड़ जाना] पर्यावरण की तरफ कैसे हो सकते हैं??

बहरहाल, रेमो डी’सूज़ा की बेवकूफी भरी ‘अ फ्लाइंग जट्ट’ का मज़ा आपको लेना है तो थिएटर में आँखें बंद करके बैठ जाईये और भगवान पर भरोसा रखिये. कोई सुपरहीरो आपको इस फिल्म से बचाने भले ही नहीं आये, पर सरदर्द थोड़ा कम होगा और बॉलीवुड से आपका भरोसा पूरी तरह नहीं टूटेगा. माफ़ कीजिये, पर ये सरदार बेअसरदार है! चलिए, कोई नया ढूंढते हैं! [1.5/5]       

SINGH IS BLIING: Bad, boorish and boring! [1.5/5]

Placing a graphical ‘homage’ plate belonging mostly to the financer’s/the producer’s departed family members just before the movie actually starts is an everyday fashion in Bollywood. The movie doesn’t really require to believe in following ethics and morals the ‘ever smiling’ gentleman in the picture might have been practicing all his life but his blessings are always needed there as if only that can ensure the pleasant monetary shower at the box-office. Now, I would like to see some bollywood films to carry an added plate of ‘RIP Cinema’ as they seldom show any hint of having the same in nature, intent and content. PrabhuDheva’s SINGH IS BLIING should be considered the leading light for putting this into practice. Leave cinema as the technique alone, this one doesn’t bother to get down to the nitty-gritty of filmmaking process i.e. story, plot and screenplay. It only marks an infertile collaboration of two so-called creative minds who think they can pull out any shit under the prestigious tag of entertainment.

SINGH IS BLIING in its name itself denies any promise to gift you anything logical or digestible. Raftaar Singh [Khiladi Kumar] is a 45 year plus blockhead who can plant a dog with artificial coat of fur when the real lion goes missing. And is also an English illiterate who won’t move an inch if you just throw the word ‘go’ at him and don’t signal with your hands. I wonder if the ‘Sarv Shiksha Abhiyaan’ is really a success or the Punjab shown in the film is actually on Mars! Meanwhile, a Romanian girl Sara [Amy Jackson] has to come to India [comfortably in Goa] as some crazyhead gangster [Kay Kay Menon] wants her life for I don’t recall why. Raftaar is now guarding her body with two equally irritating friends from Punjab and a geeky translator [Lara Dutta, actually and only one funny]. What follows next can never be described as a storyline. There are only a number of skits put together to reach an average film’s length. The girl has also a hidden agenda to search for her separated mommy. Raftaar has to take her Punjab for exactly 4 scenes and a song. The love-story between an English ignorant and the exact opposite girl blooms over annoying conversations full of miscommunication and more than 60% of it being subtitled in Hindi. And then; a side-track involving Lara and the two supporting comedians where Lara sleepwalks [Why to only blame her if everyone else also does the same in the film?] and crushes both’s manhood responsible for reproduction purposes with coconut! Painful it is. For viewers too!

PrabhuDheva’s rotten idea of comedy gels perfectly with the mannerism-driven physical buffoonery Akshay Kumar brings on screen. He is cool, casual and confident about him playing a Mr. Beans with turban. With no rhyme or reason, Kumar and Prabhu both keep exploiting the Sikh-sentiments throughout the film. Amy Jackson as the goon-bashing girl is narrowed to speak in accented English and is never forced to try Hindi dialogues. Strategy to save some nuisance successful! Kay Kay Menon looks out still stuck in his DRONA days. In his limited role, he’s limited too. The son of Shashi Kapoor, Kunal Kapoor [of VIJETA fame] makes a guest appearance and does succeed in reminding his father’s on-screen charisma and presence in flares and flashes. Lara Dutta plays it very outlandish; but trust me, it works very well in favor of the character’s guts. Her character might go main lead from the supporting cast if someone behind the writing desk could identify the hidden potential there.

Overall, SINGH IS BLIING is nothing but a smart selling idea to encash the success of SINGH IS KINGG. The next offering in the series could be anything under the name ‘SINGH IS FLING’ or ‘SINGH IS CLING’. After all, who cares what it means? The film sees ‘Grazing Goat Pictures’ credited for the story. Now, I can imagine why. Who would want to get associated with such inadmissible, unfortunate and regrettable piece of writing? Avoidable! [1.5/5]           

BOMBAY VELVET: All flash-no flesh! [2.5/5]

Anurag Kashyap has this unique ability and talent to surprise you with quirky ideas and innovatively conceived elements to see and present things differently on screen. Who else would think of using a popular actor in a portrayal of a male singer mimicking female counterpart in local orchestra (Yashpal Sharma in GANGS OF WASSEYPUR)? Or that breathless all ‘huffy-puffy’ police chase in BLACK FRIDAY revealing chawls and bylanes of Mumbai slums the best way anyone could; or for that matter, the 10-minute long ‘FIR’ sequence in UGLY where cops show great insensitivity towards a possible case of kidnapping of a minor. Sadly, his latest magnum-opus BOMBAY VELVET falls short of that distinctive touch of the filmmaker and then, what it does to its audience can hardly be described as surprising, or amazing, or even impressive at par his past low-budget yet highly-visionary films.

Finding a solid base in historian Gyan Prakash’s writing work MUMBAI FABLES, Anurag brings back an era that looks terrifically vintage of greater visual appeal and also, terribly cliché in holding its fort of being a classic love saga. A street fighter Johnny Balraj [Ranbir Kapoor] with hopes and dreams to die someday being ‘a big shot’ is on the rise as the Bombay of 60’s becomes the literal ‘land’ of opportunities. Land-shark Khambata [Karan Johar] needs someone handy and powerful to set up his empire and the ambitiously vulnerable Balraj is his best bet. Initial success gifts him the love of his life Rosy [Anushka Sharma] - a singer who’s forced to dance on the tunes of a manipulative Press owner Jimmy Mistry [Manish Chaudhary]. Soon, the flashy world of opportunity starts fading out to the shady game of greed, power and ambition.

With an eagle-eye in detailing, Anurag recreates the Bombay of 60’s with one of the best production-designs in Bollywood. The disappearing trams, vintage cars, graphically achieved landscapes, costumes, brilliantly envisioned set-designs; everything in the frame justifies its mark and meaning for being placed there. The club-singer is a recognized Geeta Dutt fan. His chauffer [Vivan Shah] also doesn’t miss to flaunt his so-called ‘pehchan’ with Chic Chocolate- a noted trumpeter with the famous music-director duo Shankar-Jaikishan. These minimal references work but what don’t work are the puzzling plots and subplots. They keep coming to you to earn your precious attention and interest in the film but in a perplexed way and disinterested narration that you are left in disbelief as what is happening and why? The screenplay also is a bumpy ride. Songs and the fascinatingly refined jazz music do some serious kind of damage-repair.

On the performances, Ranbir is precise, measured and totally in-character. His role on paper might sound in correlation with the character his grandfather Raj Kapoor played in SHRI 420 but Ranbir’s is a lot stylish and modern. Anushka, most of the times, is there on stage to lip-sync the club-numbers but whenever she’s off-stage, she manages to pull it off well. Karan Johar handles only one scene well that deserves a mention. His uncontrollable laugh at Balraj’s poor English language skills! For the rest, it is forgettable. Manish Chaudhary is first-rate. Satyadeep Mishra is the only actor who never ever disappoints you. Kay Kay Menon is regular.

At the last, BOMBAY VELVET has striking likeness of Martin Scorsese’s and other films of that style. This could well be Anurag Kashyap’s tribute to the filmmaker but is certainly not the best in his kitty. Watch out if you don’t know who Anurag Kashyap is, and you might come out praising him. For fans, it is a disappointment despite being not-so-bad! [2.5/5]   

BABY: Not so-smart but well-made! [3/5]

An anti-nationalist tries to intimidate our hero by making a declaration like, “Beware! We write MUSLIM as our religion in the column marked for so in all government forms”; and our hero-an undercover agent gives him an equal back, “We are more submissive towards our nation as we write INDIAN in the said column”. I am not sure how many times the officer in question would have faced rejection of his forms at the respective offices and counters but for the screen, it does create an impact; an impact more Bollywood-ish but substantial for a nationalistic film made for entertainment.

Writer-director Neeraj Pandey has proved himself earlier with his similar approach in A WEDNESDAY & in SPECIAL CHABBIS (26). His latest BABY is a gripping but easy espionage-thriller filled with fast-paced action, impossible-looking anti-terrorist missions, men under cover, race against time situations, mellowness in melodrama and more notably Akshay Kumar playing his age. So, you might miss him hitting the dance floor on some vodka & short-skirt girl obsessed Yo Yo Honey Singh number but I enjoyed it more.

Not many years passed when Bollywood has restrictions not to take ‘names’ while referring our neighboring country but now, we are liberated enough to come up with lines like, “+92 [country code of Pakistan] lagao, mujhe aazad karao”, a terrorist flounders in prison. Fondly christened for its short term, BABY is a 5-year trial program where 12 undercover agents are trained & unfastened to fight terrorism freely with a clause that Indian Government would never claim their identity as an Indian in worst case scenario. BABY- the film is the last mission of BABY-the program.

Headed by Feroze Ali [Danny in an identical role of his ATS chief in Mani Shankar’s 16 DECEMBER], Ajay [Played by Akshay Kumar] & his team [schemer Anupam Kher, muscle-man Rana Daggubati and the trained martial art expert in salwar-suit Taapsee Pannu] are chasing down the terrorist movements in various parts of India to terminate their lethal plots. Their prime targets are Bilal Khan [Kay Kay Menon in a shorter role] who wants proper attention & treatment at par Kasab would get, and Maulana- a Pakistan based religious leader-orator & mastermind modeled on Hafiz Muhammad Saeed and believably played by the Pakistani actor Rasheed Naz.

BABY acts immature as a juvenile when it comes to be a smart thriller. It never actually shocks you with a more feasible approach than being a tough nut-to-crack thriller but the pace, no non-sense songs, believable acting performances, brilliantly shot sequences and an underlay deadpan humor throughout. Though it is one such film that believes a mustache can make a hero look more real, BABY tries a lot to break the norms Bollywood is known to fall for. So no more ‘on-time’ wire-cuts while defusing a bomb! No more melodramatic cries over personal/professional losses! And more importantly, no breathing space for item numbers [one comes at the end-credits, you can ignore that easily].

As the final verdict, Neeraj Pandey’s BABY has his trademark patriotic touch with absolute mass appeal but lacks the punch in emotions he showed in ‘A WEDNESDAY’ and what’s also a miss is the smartness and the unquestionable precision in the screenplay as his SPECIAL CHABBIS (26) excelled in. Still, it’s a well-made thriller that doesn’t lose its steam despite being 2 hour 40 min long…and that says a lot! [3/5]

HAIDER: A Bollywood rare that tries to speak…emotionally & politically! [4/5]

1995, Kashmir. When single screen cinemas like Faraz & Sheila in Srinagar were turned into a full-fledged army camps & detention centers, we at the other side were probably unscathed enjoying those terribly silly love-stories on VHS in our drawing rooms and least bothered about that ‘integral part’ of our country. Calling it ‘integral’ itself is an irony. We normally don’t do that to other states. Are we? Vishal Bhardwaj’s HAIDER is a strong political statement retold and represented covered in the long dark shrouds of Shakespearian emotional saga. It’s depressingly sad, gloomy, violent, nerve-racking and makes you bleed emotionally.

Haider [Played by Shahid Kapoor] returns to his soil after his father goes missing in the bleak times of militancy contaminating the Jhelum waters. The disappearance soon gets linked with the unseen before closeness between his mother [Immeasurably talented Tabu] and his power-hungry uncle [Kay Kay Menon in a well-suited comfortable role]. The hunt for the missing and the haunting ache of losing all his emotional supports lands him into the fiery world of hatred, vengeance and revolt at personal front.   

Adopted from ‘Hamlet’ of William Shakespeare, HAIDER suffers from the 'Chutzpah' of Vishal Bhardwaj as a deep and sound filmmaker who ruthlessly puts you through the gloomiest atmospheric tale of Kashmir in the times of brutal political turmoil. This is the time of ambiguity when even the closest to your heart can ask you, “Whose side are you on?”. This is the time when ‘Freedom’ merely has just one connotation to it. The burnt doors, broken windows, unclaimed houses and people holding their identity cards waiting in line for getting searched; Bhardwaj sensitively paints the pain and melancholia in the air. There is a scene actually where a man in a mental shock refuses to enter his own house before being searched by anyone. Created to give you a moment to laugh but really?

In its one of the most comical sequences, Vishal Bhardwaj gives us two of Salman Khan fans who also share the name with Salman and run a VHS parlor. There are also moments and elements snitched from the original work like the slightest intimation of layered mother-son relationship. It does make you uncomfortable at first but the makers deserve a pat on back for such bold baby-step. In other, watch out for the old gravediggers stealing the moment at the climax.

And now the performances! Not many might be familiar with Narendra Jha by name but this man exceeds all expectations as a fine performer in the role of Haider’s father. You will find Kashmir in him in all senses. Tabu as an unsettling soul seeking serenity is a mesmerizing presence on screen. She makes us miss her more in films. Kay Kay Menon is comfortably in his zone. Somehow, this is a role we have seen him wearing like a skin. Shraddha Kapoor doesn’t leave any scope to complain. Irrfan Khan in a special appearance brings a good amount of joy and a flare of surprise.

And then there is Shahid Kapoor! Where in the first part he hardly shows anything unforeseen and mostly repeats himself, in the second half he completely blows you off with a brilliantly acted monologue piece and constantly reinventing his acting skills!                 

Despite all this, there is of course a muddled theatrical concluding part, bearably lengthy duration of nearly 3 hours and harshly done back and forth narrative to offer a bumpy ride and a sense of dissatisfaction but the melancholic shades in the characters and in the character of Kashmir both painted beautifully by some of the most sincere and serious performances make HAIDER an experience worth putting your time and money in. A bollywood film trying to speak is rare and should get a warm welcome! (4/5)

SHAHID: A strong evidential piece of cinema that enlightens! Strongly Recommended! [4.5/5]

I feel ashamed of myself for not knowing Shahid Azmi- a slain lawyer and an altruistic humane activist before Hansal Mehta came up with a strong evidential piece of cinema that does not merely solve the purpose to entertain but also dares to enlighten our unresponsive- unsympathetic minds confined into its own safe but scared place to stay put.  We probably have become either numb to whatever happens in our neighborhoods or blatantly reactive about just anything that comes in way without assessing what is right and what is not.

‘SHAHID’ is the need of the hour.  It demands and shows the guts to start a never-ending movement [if not on the roads, definitely in our heads] to bring change in the system by joining it and not wiping it out or denying its very existence.

Shahid [played by ‘Kai Po Che!’ fame Raj Kumar] could be anyone of thousands who gets trapped into the torturous custody of Indian Police known for its tactical power-driven machinery and is thrown into Jail for beholding a name that comes from a certain section of people in minority…but where the most would disappear in the galore to turn radical against country & its governing bodies, Shahid decides to stand out. While his tenure in longing to get set free, Shahid keeps his conscience alive and opts to be a helping hand for those who have nothing but an assurance of not being guilty.

SHAHID is an extraordinary effort in terms of writing and direction. Based on the real-life criminal lawyer-cum-human rights activist Shahid Azmi, film amalgamates facts and fiction beautifully. It is a biopic that is handled with sheer honesty, clarity in thoughts, rightly positioned screenplay, brilliance in execution and a very very significant memorandum to all human beings. Hansal Mehta never and never loses his grip on the subject. He keeps it as real as it is happening in a gully adjacent to my living place. Special mention to the replication of Indian courts’ undramatic-untheatrical-dreary modus operandi where there is no usual Bollywood ‘order-order’ but an actual exchange of verbal spats. Camera work by Anuj Dhawan captures the environs and the emotions equally good. Dialogues are crisp, colloquial and taut.

But what make it an exceptional biopic are the performances. Shahid’s fearless-in your face-uncomplicated character could never come so strong if Raj Kumar has not given it his flesh & blood. This man can make you laugh with his charmingly simplistic behavior [watch it when he is trying to be comfortable with his lady-love still unaware of his feelings] and also can make your heart bleed with his heartrending silence when attacked for his forgettable past. Extended applause for his bravura performance! Prabhleen Sandhu as his wife too is a gifted actor. She brings with herself an unpolished charm that hits every chord she aims to. Md. Zeeshan Ayyub here has not much like in RAANJHANAA to overwhelm you but still he keeps your expectations fulfilled. Kay Kay Menon and Tigmanshu Dhulia play their parts efficiently with a sparkling presence on screen.

After PAAN SINGH TOMAR, here comes an earnest biographical drama that I hope could change the way Indian Cinema thinks about our real life heroes. This is also a film that raises many a questions about humanity and its survival in today’s times. It also shows our judiciary system in true lights. As said in the film by the character Kay Kay Menon plays, “waqt lagta hai par ho jaata hai. It works.” Painfully correct!

On the whole, very few people dare to rise and take a stand to tell a story that might have been vanished from lives & in files if not attempted. Hansal Mehta joins the same league. Respect for giving us SHAHID- a film that will find a place close to your heart very easily but not without stirring-shaking & moving your soul. STRONGLY RECOMMENDED! [4.5/5]